Wednesday, 7 October 2009

This evening's game...

It's soup, Jim... but not as we know it!

Peas... Peas me!

Spotted Richard


  1. Was that Cottage Pie before they dropped it?

    Tell yourself that you are not going to go to sleep tonight. Really. I once had to have a test in hospital that relied on my having been awake for 24 hours.

    The day time was fine; radio, tv, visitors arriving......but the night, trying to stay awake when the whole place was dimmed and silent, the heating turned up full blast, no tv or radio allowed - just the gentle snores of the night duty staff and the desperate cries of the incontinent to keep me awake - it was Hell.

  2. More to the point, once they'd dropped the Cottage/Shepherd's Pie, did they really have to sneeze on it too?

  3. Your comments about not being able to sleep on your side or curl into a comfy foetal ball really hit home with me. I've been where you are and you will, eventually, be where I am - out of hospital. And you need never give plate-room to another pea again if you don't want to!

  4. OMG - what on Earth was that?

    It could be anything, and the soup looks like it's been made with Solvite, yuck.

    Chin up Mr Traction, if you've never listened to it - BBC Radio 5 is excellent from 0100-0500, I regularly listen when the Land of Nod is elusive.

  5. The soup was potato and leek but I think someone forgot the potatoes and the leeks. It was like one of those Slim-a-Soups but without the salt. As for the cottage pie... there was more roof than anything else and then someone decided that drowning it in gravy would be a great idea. I took this photo after draining some of the liquid off so you could get to see the 'pie'. The Spotted Dick had a good texture, but once again, the sugar levels were non-existent and I'm someone who doesn't have a sweet tooth and rarely eats puddings.

  6. My guess:
    1. Pea Soup (the kind that you eat on a mountain top, made from a composite of grounded peas, bacon and spices, dissolved and boiled in water)Without Spoon;
    2. Bread Pudding Chunks with Apple Jelly, Peas And Metal Fork;
    3. Part Of A "Spotted Richard" With Custard And Big Metal Spoon (the custard looks a bit milkier than yesterday's, doesn't it?)
    Greetings! Barbara

  7. In fairness to cottage pie, we had some yesterday and I went back for second helpings. But in ours, it didn't look as though the mince had the consistency of shot gun pellets, which is what they look like here. Would that be a fair assessment? As regards the sugar, couldn't Mrs TM smuggle in some sugar to add the puds? Not the ideal solution, I know, but better than no sugar at all. As for the soup - back to gloop colour, today, then.

  8. If I smuggle in any more flavours and condiments I'd just as well set up my own kitchen. The government's nutritional guidelines have been drawn up on paper by people who don't like food and have no idea of the importance of food to human wellbeing. Everything is low fat, low salt and low sugar. Targets have been achieved but the objective should be to serve food people will eat. I think , to be fair, most of it is designed for people like the banshee in the next room who probably has no teeth or taste buds. It's the lowest common nutritional dominator.

  9. Is it alive TM, does it come from outer space, I have no idea what it is supposed to be, mad guess, cottage pie with grisly bits. Ah the peas, I just knew they would be back again, and at least the custard is not green today.

    Was thinking this afternoon, food is like fuel, it provides us with everything we need to survive, your diet is deficient in everything, it is bland, boring, tasteless, insane. Would it be too difficult to give the patients decent food, a bit of greasy, sweet, nice tasting food would be lovely, how on earth do they expect anybody to get better when they serve this dross day after day.

    Okay, they wont serve it greasy, hardens the arteries, no salt, not good for the body, definitely no sweet food, as sugar is bad for you, these are not my thoughts TM, this is the stuff they tell us, so you have these healthy, non fatty, non sugary, non sweetie things put before you every day, do you feel healthy, full of energy, maintaining a healthy weight, of course not, so what is the point of giving this supposedly healthy food, bring back greasy fish and chips say I.

  10. Cucumber soup with tons of water?
    Jelly brain with pus gone wrong?

  11. tattie and leek soup. That cottage pie looks very odd and I think I've commented before on the strange unsweet custard (apple crumble with just apples - remember?). I nearly always had soup and you were only allowed 2 courses (Scotland - we're a bit more parsimonious here y'ken). I did eat all of the custard though - well it was hot. I spent the whole bowl not quite believing what I was tasting. It didn't match somehow...

  12. soup looks as though it is drained from a pus filled cavity, the main course - well, it just looks like a typical NHS meal - I see someone in the kitchen has a share in the national pea market! get out of there soon traction man!

  13. Er, where did you "drain the liquid" to? (Or, do I really want to know?) The pie looks a bit like a bird strike. All the soups are starting to look the same. You poor man.

  14. Was it really bad, sort of looks alright to me, sort of, though I haven't tasted it have I. Spotted Richard, my favourite.

    I have always had fabulous hospital Jacket Spuds.

  15. TM hope it is slright to link to your blog, one of my favourites. Though wish it wasn't if you know what I mean, for you sake. Wishing you a speedy and comfortable recovery.

  16. Spooned the liquid off into my soup bowl. We do seem to get fed a lot of lamb, although I rather think it's mutton dressed as lamb. I've not eaten lamb that tough before. If they are lambs they're adolescents and fast approachin adulthood. It wasn't tasty but taste is a subjective matter. Something you might eat when you're well, active and hungry isn't always so acceptable when you're ill, sedentary and in need of having your appetite tempted.

  17. Reminds me of some grafitti I saw in my highschool toilet...Flush's a long way to the cafeteria.




  19. The Nurse (The Mummy)7 October 2009 at 23:07

    Oh TM! That main course looks awful!

    All this low sugar/salt/fat is just a nuisance isn't it? Well, no! It is actually life threatening in some cases. Diabetics actually DO need sugar at times. Also, why does it have to look bad and be tasteless? Have they never heard of herbs and spices?

    I hope you get some sleep tonight TM. I really feel for you. I had my knee splinted for over 2 months following surgery and it was a nightmare. Never been in traction!

    Take care of yourself.

  20. The old lady in the next room is calling loudly for her cat over and over again. "Here pussy," she calls at the top of her raspy voice. I feel desperately sorry for her. She sounds very happy though, but she does have an extremely strong pair of lungs. I need those earplugs and diazepam tonight.

  21. Why bother eating? Just cut to the chase an serve it straight to the loo...oops, looks like they did!! Was the pudding donated by Flintshire County Council?!

    Maybe we should have a whip-round and send you a hamper of goodies from somewhere rather wonderful!!!

  22. So it's finally come to pass .... they're manufacturing Soylent Green in large enough quantities to feed it to hospital patients. I see that they are no longer limited to wafers - the technology has been perfected and they are able to present it in liquid and solid form. Clever.

    Do any of the kitchen staff resemble Charlton Heston?

    Take it easy Mr TM

  23. OMG!!!!!! I made the mistake of checking your blog just after lunch! The traction pictures were fine, but that vomit on a plate covered in gravy really turned my stomach!

    I hope Mrs TM, or your mum, or any kind soul for that matter, will be taking pity on you soon which something resembling real food. If I wasn't in Australia I'd say email me your location and I'll smuggle you something myself!

  24. Morning Traction Man

    I hope 'you've seen it through the night'. Thinking of the whiskery one I thought that perhaps you could add a little extra with another one of his unforgettable expressions 'Can yer see what it is yet?' Put little snippets of your 'food' on at a time. Contestants send the answers to Gordon Brown's personal email address and the winner is awarded the Order of the KGB, i.e. the Order of the Knights of Gordon Brown.
    The next thing I thought might help would be to have a statue of the unknown NHS patient at Whitehall. Tracy Emin might be good to design it if it involves a bed otherwise throw it open to international competition.
    Next was the thought of how you could make money. Trade mark it all. TM (tm) The second tm small and in a bubble, they way they do. You could franchise the whole lot. TM dolls for future nurses and sadists to play with. There'll be the added extras to buy of course, bed pans, catheters, thermometers and all the other stuff they use. Then there's the cartoon series with yellow faced people. The Americans are good at that.
    Meanwhile me and a few mates have reopened a drift seam in a pit 'somewhere in Yorkshire' and are tunnelling south. We'll direct it under as many town halls on the way so that normal people won't be disturbed too much.

    Bonne chance mon brave

  25. If that soup was a paint it would have a really naff name like wind shadow.

    There again if that soup was a paint it would have a proper purpose in life.