Tuesday, 27 October 2009

They’re not lovin’ it

Ladies and gentlemen… I think I’ve just discovered the most exclusive and venerable club in the world.  The club consists of just four countries: Iceland, Bosnia, Armenia and Albania. I’ve decided to name them the G4.

These four sovereign nations are free of one international pestilence: not Japanese knotweed; not mosquitoes and not drugs. No… these four states are simply not ‘lovin’ it’. In other words... they are McDonald’s-free.

McDonald’s is pulling out of Iceland because it can no longer compete with local fast food outlets selling beef samlokas. The poor Golden Arches corporation in Iceland must import its buns, beef and fries from Germany, but with the Euro sky high and the Icelandic Krona about as low as a limbo bar, the company simply can’t make a living from the land of ice, volcanoes and busted banks.

This is very interesting when you consider that the Icelanders have a national dish that involves placing a dead shark in hole, peeing over it, then covering it with sand and leaving it to mature for six months. Then they dig it up and tuck into what has to be the world’s stinkiest hors d’oeuvre.

In my opinion, if anyone can prefer rancid old shark to a Big Mac and fries then it's little wonder that McDonald’s has decided to throw the paper serviette in!


  1. I wonder if yhe N.H.S would be interested in adopting the icelandic national dish.

  2. Probably too expensive and too tasty!

    1. They do not pee over it, but it has a ammoniac taste and smell because the shark from whom it is, enriches his body with it instead of dumping it through the liver and kidneys.

      His flesh is highly toxic, keeps him from getting eating by any normal animal, except the Homo sapiens.
      It keeps the shark iso-osmotic, no need to drink and to keep the excess salt out of the body like other fishes do....and it also acts as antifreeze.

      And to get the toxic ammoniac producing substance out of the flesh the shark has to get fermented first..just like sauerkraut.

      Not in a pot but in the earth, and when the toxic stuff has broken down into ammoniac the shark is digged out and hung on a drying/smoking rack for 4 months.

      After that it is edible -icelandic bacon so to speak...except that the shark has salted itself prior.

  3. I think you're right there. As a former NHS employee, all dishes are distinctly tasteless and stinkfree... as well as everything else free....

  4. Quite right too. Can't have the NHS serving anything with flavour! Good God. Plus there would probably be some Health and Safety memo circulated about rotten fish and health hazards.

    However I am thrilled to see that McVile's is leaving Iceland. Huzzah! Huzzah! and three other countries won;t let them darken the doors. Excellent.

    "with the Euro sky high and the Icelandic Krona about as low as a limbo bar, the company simply can’t make a living from the land of ice, volcanoes and busted banks."

    What a shame for McGhastly's, the poor dears. Must be awful having to struggle on only a handful of outlets worldwide. I'd play me violin but the string snapped.


    LOL!!! The captcha word - SLOBBIGU - I see it's keeping up with NHS food terminology!

  5. Lao PDR is also McDonald's free... so G5?

  6. God what a sensible nation, I am now wondering if we should move - even the dog won't wat that muck, yet. I used to be so chuffed that the kids didn't like McDo's but now in their 20's they will eat anything, where did I go wrong?? THey used to eat balanced healthy diets but now they can't pass a KFC, McUgly or Subway without salivating!


  7. If I had to make the choice I'd go for the rancid old shark too - at least you know where it's come from.

  8. It gives a whole new slant to the slogan "Mum's gone to Iceland". Be afraid... be very afraid!

  9. i reckon the last time i ate at McDonalds (many, many years ago when i was young and foolish) they had served up one of those urine soaked sharks in the burger. at least that's what it tasted like to me.

    Glad to see some dishes you actually enjoy. Hope they can keep it up.
    Take care

  10. I actually would be happy to try puffin carpaccio ... certainly in preference to plastic turkey slice

  11. I think that somebody needs to stick up for McDonalds here - I LOVE McDonalds!

  12. I think Bolivia is also McFat free too. They have a burger king in La Paz, it was awesome.