Friday 9 October 2009

The good, the bad, and the ugly


Not too bad. Actually contains vegetables and a low gloop factor


Er... Um... Ah... You decide!


How much watery custard can one man take?

32 comments:

  1. I'm reserving judgment on the soup. You had to eat it, not me. Or not, of course.

    As for the second plate, the beige-yellow thing on the right looks very odd. Just like a surgeon's gloved hand with two fingers cut off, in fact. Perhaps they could check the bins coming out of theatre for the remaining digits.

    The dish of whatever .. a gerbil drowned in custard? It looks as though it's shrieking, so it was (or maybe still is) live to begin with, whatever it was/is. If you poke it with a fork, does it wriggle?

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  2. Gasp! I've just realised. Those sausages yesterday. Two, with knuckles.

    *gag*

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  3. My mother used to recyle bread and butter pudding. And bread and butter pudding is really the end of the line. Do you think she may have been let loose on your kitchen... ?
    (there was just a pebble in that custard, wasnt there.)

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  4. It's what underneath the watery custard that worrie me - is it a dead hamster?

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  5. That lump in the custard was a mass of unsweetened sponge with about four sultanas in it. The custard is made with water or skimmed milk and has very little sweetness. I say this as someone who doesn't have a sweet tooth. Still, if the government and medical profession say we must not have too much sugar or salt then so be it. Just don't expect the food to be tasty or edible.

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  6. Agree with Sooz - what on God's green earth is that beige/yellow thing on the right in the "main course.?" Soup looks ok but don't start me on the custard.
    What's the sunday lunch like there? Have they ever attempted yorkshires? Or is that a silly question.......

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  7. Where did the panini spring from?

    Is it a menu option or is someone taking pity on your plight?

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  8. Becky: what on God's green earth is that beige/yellow thing on the right in the "main course.?

    Mashed swede. Disgusting

    Plato... someone in the kitchen loves me and let's me have the occasional panino/i

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  9. low gloop...
    high gloop...
    gloop in a soup of glue!

    I'm so sorry, man. I don't know what you're supposed to do with that.

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  10. at least the soup looked edible , but if i have to see one more pea on your plate i might have to scream , and i aint the one having to eat it .as for the main , i recognize the beige thing this time , it looks like bread , cant tell if thats what it tasted like tho , i bet they even messed that up if thay are the ones who baked it .my mom thinks sooz is right on the money about it tho , it would explain yesterdays "sausage".but i am going to make a far shot guess and wonder if your main was a shepards pie? i know its an insult to shepards pie . heres a hoot , save all your peas for the next week and put them in a jar and we can do a guess how many thing.chin up , at least you have the pic of the panini to loo at while you are eating the gross stuff.


    rhonda ,usa

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  11. Cottage pie mashed swede and peas ( from a tin no doubt)

    Some delightful sponge and custard confection ( with low sugar)

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  12. If you say the soup was ok, then so be it.
    What intrigues me about the main course, is the cookie structure of the potato mash, if it is that, between the middle of the plate and 12 o'clock. Reminds me of the starlike form of coconut kisses. What endeavour! Someone tried to put some kind of excitement into the dish? What it is that hides beneath the potato mash - is it gulash?
    Mashed suedes - you have my pity, TM. Peas, well, ok.
    I hope you have some extra food left from your weekly supply ... Best wishes! Barbara

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  13. Mashed swede is actually quite nice (but usually combined with some potato and a nice knob of butter and some seasoning. That just looks like dried out concrete. Bleurgh.

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  14. When I was away at university, my lovely mum used to send me a mini pudding (those little Christmas ones that are starting to appear in the shops at the moment are my favourite) and a packet of Birds instant custard. I was the envy of my hall of residence. Am more than willing to send one your way if a kindly nurse can make up the custard and nuke the pudding for you.

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  15. Well, it was inevitable. The weekend is just round the corner and it really looks like the food gets even worse at weekends

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  16. Fresh supplies arriving tomorrow, including salmon, biscuits, muesli, fruit and nuts. Orange juice too! Tonight I had a chocolate Ensure as the main and the pudding really were most unpleasant. The 95-year-old lady next door likes the cottage pie as she can eat it without chewing since it's like baby food.

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  17. Instant Custard! That is it! I had forgotten that stuff existed! Even cheap tinned stuff never looks that bad!

    Mashed swede, with butter and seasoning, i a wonderful accompaniment to Haggis! YUM!!! That would be interesting to see produced in hospital! Then again, maybe not! Forget I said that!

    The soup looked okay, the rest of it looked awful! Ensure for supper?

    Another day closer to smoked salmon bagel!

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  18. Hurrah - Mrs TM is bringing her weekly Red Cross parcel just in time, it seems!

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  19. TM, are you laying down or sitting up in traction?

    My mum has told me of when she was laying down in traction for some weeks and kept being served peas - which were impossible to eat with a fork , and unsighted, when the plate is balanced on an (ample) bosom whilst laying down.... but I guess at least one of those problems isnt one that you have.....

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  20. I'm sat up, fortunately. No ample bosom either.

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  21. Sheesh, at least you had a decent dinner...you won't starve...when is your next bagel?

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  22. Ah, it is all very well for Mrs TM to bring muesli but will the hospital supply the milk???? Not to mention the bowl!

    So pleased she is topping up your care! Enjoy the goodies!

    Must confess that when offspring is in hospital I make sure he has things he will eat, just in case!

    Hope the cottage pie had some sleepers in it for your neighbour! That way you might just get some sleep! LOL!

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  23. It's me who's had to go on the diazepam. Only way I can sleep throught the banshee's wailing.

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  24. Not MORE cottage pie - after all we said about it last time. Are these slop suppliers mad ... or evil and malicious?

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  25. It was either that or the house-brick quiche!

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  26. Count yourself lucky TM. When I was leaving work tonight I caught a whiff of what they were serving up our patients for dinner. It smelt like boiled fish and pissy knickers! I didn't hang around to take a photo to send you.

    I am having a knee op in 10 days as a daycase patient. They have warned me I might have an overnight stay if I don't respond well after the op. I have warned them that would be over my dead body! I shall hobble outa there even if I'm hallucinating!

    from "she who has to remain anonymous - at least for the next 573 days"

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  27. Hi Tm - is some sort of pudding with something resembling custard the only dessert that is offered or are the other options more horrible than the pud and custard? WHile i have seen a banana on your dinner tray, it seems that the dessert varies very little.

    Cheers and hope your feeling ok
    Mich

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  28. Also on the pudding menu is Muller Light Yogurt (yuk) or a tiny tub of vanilla or strawberry ice cream that's usually melted by the time you get to eat it. Not much choice.

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  29. Becky Rideout said...
    "Mashed swede is actually quite nice....and a nice KNOB of butter...."

    I remember you having 2 knobs served up the other day :-)

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  30. TM, regarding your sleeping issues - have you also considered wearing earplugs? Earfit are some good ones (get the yellow, cylindrical, spongy ones - not the hard/wax type by other manufacturers). They don't of course cut out all noise, but they would help a fair bit. I found them very useful when I was in hospital some years ago.

    Here ya go:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Earfit-Foam-Ear-Plugs-Pairs/dp/B000KU71ZC

    Hope you manage to extricate yourself from Hospital in a few weeks, and keep up the great blogging. :-)

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  31. Dear Patient (or IMpatient ?),

    Your lovely line about custard has inspired this villanelle :

    A WATERY GRAVE ?

    How much watery custard can one man take
    unto his system, without major breakdown,
    in a hospital bed which no one will make ?

    Couldn’t we have, please, a nutritious milk-shake ?
    I see caterers - all with thunderous frowns.
    How much watery custard can one man take ?

    “We don’t do no favours for no toff-type fake
    an’ all meals what we serve, soon enough turn brown”
    in a hospital bed which no one will make.

    Don’t know what’s worse, hunger, or damned tummy-ache;
    longing for days I could go out on the town.
    How much watery custard can one man take ?

    Should I die, then enjoy fat feast at my wake ?
    That won’t work, it would just get me down,
    in a hospital bed which no one will make.

    Give me some real food, have mercy, for my sake
    I would cure, or at least lose permanent frown !
    How much watery custard can one man take
    in a hospital bed which no one will make ?

    Alan McAlpine Douglas

    Wish you well on your journey to recovery, and the overcoming of ALL obstacles and hospital food.
    #
    Alan Douglas

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