Tuesday 10 November 2009

Sigh...


The tomato and red pepper soup is very tasty. Unfortunately...


Chicken and leek roof-tile pie, monsoon beans and potato croquettes (you'd need a croquet mallet to prepare them for eating)


I am so sick of custard... never mind the apple cake that lies beneath

38 comments:

  1. Where do they get this much custard from? I mean realy. Every day custard. Do they have 55 gallon drums of it brought in? It must take a small european country to make this much custard! Or a realy prosporus lipsuction office.

    Steve Houston Tx U.S.A.

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  2. The crazy thing is that not many people have puddings with custard at home any more. The older generation may enjoy this but not younger people. Hospital food is mainly designed for elderly people with false teeth and no taste buds.

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  3. I adore custard on my puds and I count as a young person.
    Is it bad I'm actually getting hungry at the look of your food? (Maybe not the soup or pud,) perhaps my lack of dinner due to my stomach bug is making me think silly things.

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  4. It just all looks so tired. Beaten into submission. Flat.

    Flatter than my bit of toast. And that's flatter than the flattest flat thing.

    Chin up old soldier. It's probably still very painful to walk but that's hardly surprising after the months of torture and being stretched on the rack.

    Hope you've had a good day!

    S

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  5. Hi Sooz

    Not a very good day, I' afraid. I had my legs measured and my bad leg is 3.8cm shorter now. I have to have built-up shoes and with that kind of discrepancy I'm worried that I won't be able to walk without a fairly severe limp. You spend months in hospital, enduring all the painful treatment because you're told that one day you will walk. The problem is that just as you're about to be sent home, you get the definite impression that you're not going to walk very well and that no one told you in case it made your recovery slower or caused depression. It's a bit disappointing.

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  6. Yes, what's with the custard thing? You've got alternatives such as cream, yoghurt, creme fraiche, clotted cream and "JUS"!
    Or maybe the puddings could just be moist and not need wettening down.
    OK, custard is comfort food, but probably just three times a year, tops - and made with fresh ingredients not powder.

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  7. I'm sure you will be OK.My wife had that much difference in leg size and had no noticeable limp and didn't bother much with built up shoes the only nuisance was one shoe wearing out faster than the other.

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  8. TM, you will get used to it, one of my leg`s is shorter than the other since many years , just make sure you don`t adopt a different stance when walking or you will suffer hip and back pain, this is quite easily done without thinking .
    Ness..

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  9. I was actually thinking that the other day, wondering if X-man ever gets fed up looking at bowls of custard, rainbow custard, because it comes in various shades of yellow, think you will pass on custard when you get home.

    Think I tripped over one of those chicken leeks things today while out in town, but in Ireland we call them paving stones.

    I am sorry to read of your leg X-Man, is there anything that can be done, yes they do tend to keep the not so good news until last, do you think that is a good thing?, or would you rather have known beforehand, sort of how long is a piece of string I suppose.

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  10. I'm sorry to read of your leg, too. Will NHS pay for your special shoes - or just for one basic type similar to their food? If so, I hope that you can pay privately for an upgrade. I think there exist orthopedic shoes with different degrees of "shallowness" inside. So they kind of level out the difference in leg lengths without much to be seen from the outside. Maybe your orthopedician or physiotherapist can put you in touch with people who use them already or with ones that make them?

    Best wishes from Barbara (Styria)

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  11. I hope so too, Barbara. I don't know why it upset me so much. I grew up in a time when you still saw people with polio shoes. I'll get used to the idea in a day or two, it was just a bit of a shock it being quite such a difference. I wasn't expecting it. I guess I'll have a pair of shoes for Christmas :-)

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  12. As any fule knos, the manufacture of liquid catering-quality CUSTARD with commercially available ingredients is a closely-guarded family secret, but is believed to involve the recycling of thousands of sacks of custard powder found abandoned in the long-forgotten cellars of hospitals used by the early NHS – now being demolished with PFI funding for their replacements. The storage of this high energy food resource has now become a significant logistics problem and the most pessimistic forecasts suggest that it will last rather longer than the new hospitals. Enormous pressure is being applied to hospital catering managers to ensure that this wholesome food is offered to all patients as often as possible… [chiz chiz]

    The liquid custard is traded on the Spot Market for cash and immediate delivery to anywhere in the country. Several tanker fleets shuttle up and down the UK’s motorway network – one fleet of 18 tankers continuously circulates the M25, awaiting NHS-encrypted instructions for the nearest vehicle to effect delivery on time (within 4 fours), on target (the correct hospital) and within budget (cheaper than petrol).

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  13. One of my colleagues was stationed in the Falklands when we were at war and he said they had corned beef for every single meal as they found a warehouse full of the stuff. He said nobody could stand it after a while and they went and shot a goose - with a machine gun - oops. Maybe the NHS have found a custard pit. Kind of like the butter mountain or the wine lake. Waste not, want not eh? How do they get it not to be sweet though?

    I thought you were supposed to be getting selections from the private patients menu. You had some nice looking salmon one day and that was about it. I hate that you're not getting nice food. I

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  14. A couple of the posh choices had sweetcorn in which I'm not allowed. I do have a menu for this week so I'll take a look tomorrow.

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  15. I don't know if this has been asked before, but do you actually ask for custard? Or do you have no choice?

    Enjoying your blog; wishing you well from Australia.

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  16. Can you ever get those desserts without custard or do they already have custard in them? I hate custard!

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  17. The desserts with custard are the only substantial desserts. If the main courses are bad, a good dessert can stop you being hungry. I've never tried asking for no custard but it would be dry and even more horrible. The custard is there to add moisture and disguise taste. Tonight's custard wasn't too bad, actually.

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  18. They do seem to specialise in those kinds of soups that leave green flecks in your teeth to unnerve visitors.

    Mind you, I got a 'bargain' tonight at closing time at Morrisons food counter, a whole -sealed- bag of cooked roast potatoes reduced to 45p.
    Then when I got home I opened them, and believe me they make some of the offerings you get look tasty. Clearly most had been under the heat lamp since opening time this morning and were a mixture of leathery and cremated.
    Your NHS chefs would drool at the prospect of serving you these, trust me. I shall be returning them in the morning, with the complaint "even the NHS would be embarrassed to serve these..."

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  19. Maybe there is a mad cook (well, yes, I guess that's a given) who thinks that custard has some special medicinal/recuperative qualities.

    I haven't had it since I was a toddler.

    How strange that it lives on at the NHS.

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  20. Having followed your blog for a couple of months, this news must have come as a bit of a blow but if you think of the alternative I'm sure you know you would prefer to deal with a shoe problem like Ms Marcos. It feels like preaching a bit to say that in time you won't give it a thought - my son didn't and he goes hiking, skiing and does all sorts of things. So think positive XTM the world will be your oyster once again - more so even. When will you be getting in touch with Ben Fogle??? Chin up it could have been that you had toendure hospital food for another year, now that thought is bloody awful!
    Ruth

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  21. Ach, TM, sorry to hear about your leg. I'm sure the physios will do everything they can to minimise any consequences and point you in the right direction for orthopaedic inserts etc - but news like that is always a shock when you receive it. I shall tip a glass in your direction tonight. Meanwhile, if I were you I'd revert to inches. 3.8cm is, what, only an inch and a half? Sounds a lot better to me that way!

    All the best, and commiserations on the endless, tasteless custard.

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  22. do you have a choice of dessert sans custard? or at least served in a separate pot, seems to me that nutritionally they are trying to ensure a healthy dose of calcium is served by utilising dairy produce, though whether that custard was actually made with real milk is a mystery and long should it remain so..

    {{hugs}} about the leg issue, it might be a gut reaction to the news, in 6 months time you will look back on it and wonder what you were thinking at the time.. xx

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  23. I can't begin to tell you how much comfort your words bring to me. My fertile imagination has put a picture in my head of a club-footed, Frakenstein's monster with polio. Then you tell me your son skis, runs and hikes. Every time my morale dips you all pick me up. I'm so lucky.

    By the way did I mention that they're letting me go home on Friday?

    XTM xxx

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  24. Morning TM

    What's all this moaning - concentrate on the last sentence "HOME ON FRIDAY".

    Wow - hope Mrs ETM is ready - at least a five course banquet ready - some Shiraz to hand.

    Congratulations!

    Cats' Mother

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  25. Home on Friday! Who cares if it's the 13th!

    Great news, hug,

    Cora

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  26. Home on Friday? HOORAY!!!! What fabulous news. Bring on the Champagne!!

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  27. Matilde from Sydney11 November 2009 at 10:15

    Hey Traction Man

    Letting you go home? That wonderful, but please, please, please keep up the blog when you get home. You mentioned above that you receive comfort from your readers' words to you. Equally your blog provides me with comfort that in the general scheme of things, life isn't that bad, not to mention providing a healthy does of humour and wit. So I'm thrilled for you to be leaving the house of gourmet horrors that you've endured for so long, but please keep posting about life post traction.

    Best wishes
    Matilde

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  28. Well you're going to want to know how my walking goes, aren't you? You'll probably want to see some of the better food I'll be eating; and I can promise you that you'll love seeing the beautiful city where I live. So perhaps you can join me on my journey back into mainstream life along with a healthy dose of humour and a pinch of satire. So, in short... I aim to keep the blog going.

    XTM xxx

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  29. I'm sorry you're feeling sad. I'm sure it will all feel a lot less horrible when you're at home with your family again. It's wonderful news that you are going home so soon.

    What is the first home cooked meal you're looking forward to?
    Cheers
    Mich

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  30. Juuicy steak, homemade lasagne, salad nicoise, beef stew, paninis, proper backed potato, fresh bread... And the freedom to eat it when I'm hungry!

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  31. That's wonderful news TM!!! I will definitely miss your sarcastic posts on the NHS, but look forward to reading about your road back to normal life.

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  32. I'll find something to be sarcastic about, don't you worry! :-)

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  33. Yes, we do want you to continue. I hope this wish list of proper home made dishes will be spread out over a week instead of in one sitting, otherwise you might find yourself back in hospital again!

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  34. Hi what great news, you'll be going home so soon! Hooray!!
    Greetings from Styria! Barbara

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  35. Wonderful news X-Man, and more wonderful news, you are not giving up the blogging!!.

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  36. Hooray - you're going home at last!! Would really miss the blog if you stopped, tho.

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  37. Wow! TM, you must be progressing well for them to let you out so soon. That is great news indeed. You only have a few more NHS meals to endure before returning to real food.
    Sorry to hear about your leg length discrepency but as others have said I'm sure you won't even think about it once you get used to it.
    I'm pleased to hear that you will carry on with your blog after leaving hospital. I will enjoy reading of your progress and the occasional rant of course.

    Nobody else seems to have noticed but there is a head in your custard.
    Never heard of monsoon beans. Are they also known as french beans?

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  38. Hi TM - I just read that you are going home tomorrow - that is truly excellent news and I am so pleased for you. I am sorry that you have had this news about your leg, but I am sure that they will be able to come up with a good (and nice looking) shoe for you which you will get used to pretty quickly. Everybody who has followed your travails for the last several months must be thrilled to bits that you are now well enough to leave hospital. I bet many of us won't forget those pictures of the pin in your leg in a hurry though! All the very best for your return home, and your complete rehabilitation - hard work but you've put up with so much already that I am sure you will manage it. We will all be looking forward to hearing of your progress.
    Take care
    Your Canberra fan (charm)

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