The woman took out her purse and fished out a tenner* and asked: ‘If I give you this money will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?’
‘No, I had to stop drinking years ago,’ the homeless woman replied.
‘Well, would you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?’ the smart woman asked.
‘No, I don’t waste my time shopping,’ the homeless woman replied. ‘I need to spend all my time just trying to stay alive.’
‘Will you spend the money on a beauty salon session instead of food?’ the woman asked.
‘Are you NUTS?’ replied the homeless woman. I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years! '
The smart woman thought for a moment and then said: ‘I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.’
The homeless woman was shocked. ‘But won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I’m dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting and my table manners are appalling.’
‘That’s okay,’ replied the smart woman. ‘It’s important for him to see what happens to a woman if she gives up shopping, hair appointments, and good wine.’
(*That’s a ten-pound note to non-Brits)
PS: I tried to find a good photo to go with this joke but all Google kept throwing up was pictures of Amy Winehouse. Actually that's...