Monday, 2 November 2009

What a lying bunch of thieving colostomy bags

When it comes to having neck, British MPs can give giraffes a good run for their money. Some of our MPs are the most slimiest, untrustworthy, two-faced, deceitful, despicable and dishonourable criminals ever to suck on the teat of the public purse… and that’s going some.

Now, according to Harriet Harperson, the nation’s favourite voodoo doll and Leader of the House of Commons, the reforms to MP’s expenses recommended by the committee chaired by Sir Christopher Kelly, may not get implemented after all. The suggested reforms have gone down about as well as a cup of cold sick with our treasured parliamentary representatives.

Sir Christopher wants MPs to stop employing family members; wants MP’s living within commuting distance of Westminster to no longer have a second home allowance; wants the hundreds of pounds that MPs trouser each month free of tax to be stopped; and he’d also like to see the end of taxpayers funding second homes for these layabouts who currently have their mortgage interest paid for them by people who earn far less than they do.  These loathsome snakes often go on to sell their state-funded homes for a big fat profit and even manage to avoid paying capital gains tax while doing so.

Now it seems these parasites on the public purse are reluctant to give up their financial comfort blankets and have decided to throw their toys out of their prams. Let’s not forget that MPs are about as easy to pin down on these matters as an overactive pig covered in axle grease.

Despite promising that Sir Christopher’s recommendations would be implemented in full, however much a bitter pill it might prove to swallow, the snake-like Harman is making a screeching u-turn so bloody fast that I can even smell the burning rubber from here, in my hospital bed.

According to the Daily Telegraph, Ms Harman now says that an outside body, the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA), will decide whether to implement the recommendations of the Kelly report. This new “independent” body will work under the patronage of a small group of senior MPs – many of who have more than a few skeletons in their own expense closets. They will also be responsible for approving the appointment of the executives who will run IPSA. It all sounds fair and totally impartial to me… but do remember I’m on morphine and a cocktail of strong painkillers and am therefore liable to hallucinations and may have a distorted view of reality.

Asked whether IPSA could reject Sir Christopher's proposals, Ms Harman simply weasled her way out of the question by replying: “It's entirely a matter for them.” She then went on to add a particularly Madelsonesque proviso of: “But they will, I'm sure, want to draw on his important work.” Patronising bitch!

So it sounds as though the report that has probably cost taxpayers a few million quid to produce will be shelved along with countless other reports on removing MP's snouts from the public trough. Some MPs may read the report's executive summary before telling Sir Christopher to piss off, claiming that the new Draconian expense regime is simply too tough and will put off poor people from going into politics.

By the way,  just how many poor politicians have you ever seen?


  1. 3 to my knowledge. They were exceptionally poor - at their jobs. The worst was His Warship Alan Duncan who when he didn't like what I said to him just turned and walked away from me. Then we have Owen Patterson who is a moron and the other one was that creep Fox. I will say them Lemsip Opick does at least try and as my mother told me the other day he has lovely clean shoes and they weren't new!!!!!

    Take care TM and those greedy sods should all be hospitalised for about a year maybe we would get somewhere then. Hope your birthday was as good as it could be, the food from Mrs TM looked so scrummy.


  2. I'm with you on this one guv. Diabolical - a word a little tame I'm afraid but ... you said it all.

    One of the proposals mp's are really annoyed about is, (sorry, not very good at apostrophes)the fact they can not employ their family members ... I wonder why when one MP paid a family member over £30,000 a year for a job he did not do??!! Well someone must have done the work ALL at our expense! grrrr!!

  3. Well Put TM, but what can we do to circumvent Harman ??
    Ted, Lincs.

  4. I suggest we burn the witch. A worthwhile exception to the anti global warming guidelines.

  5. Can't we just bring in Guy Fawkes and do the job properly - anyone got any means of contacting the dead - maybe visit Westminster?


  6. WV was asonings - appropriate! K

  7. Mrs Harpy of course being the one who is pretending she does not want a peerage.

    I think TM having a distorted view of reality is the only way to look at any of these people.

    Outside bodies monitoring the shady ones, now where have we heard that before, wonder what perks these have.

    You should try reading about the Republic of Ireland's politics TM, wow, that takes some beating, for instance, my friend is a librarian, so works for the government, her husband works for the same people, they have had €700 a month taken off their wages, I mean come on, that is a lot of money, husband is not happy, he is earning less than he did 5 years ago, and more is coming out in December.

    They are holding a one day strike next week,librarian's, nurses, doctors, road cleaners etc,anybody who works for the government, I hope it helps them all, though I fear with the corruption of Southern Ireland politicians, it will have no effect whatsoever.

  8. Come on, tell us what you really think!

    Seriously, though, it's our own fault. Normal, sensible, and genuinely altruistic people would never in their right minds consider careers in politics, so it's a sad truth that the power-crazed nutters who were the people we tried to avoid at school are the ones that we get stuck with. Lunatics running the asylum, sadly.

    On a more cheerful note I think yesterday's goulash was actually a late Hallowe'en spelling mistake. It was definitely ghoulish.

  9. Good morning Master TM

    I find this morning that I have been brainwashed - just wandered into Waitrose en route to work and picked up a smoked salmon bagel for my lunch ........

    The power of the bed blogging stretches far and wide!

    Greetings from sunny London!

    Cats' Mother

  10. Still correcting. This blog helps immensely TM. I correct 10 papers and allow myself a look at the blog site. A fellow teacher has just e-mailed a note from a Chinese student signed, “Sorry for the incontinence.” I thank God I do not have to perform in Chinese . . .

    Belatedly, a very happy birthday.

  11. Son has a t-shirt with the slogan 'Guy Fawkes. The only man to enter Parliament with honest intentions!'

    Think that says it all really!
    Hope the pain is controlled today TM.

  12. I am using smoked salmon bagels as a test to see if I really can brainwash you all. My name is Fu Man Chu and I plan to take over the world. Soon power shall be mine... Mwhaahaa

  13. Oh dear! The Stokholme Syndrome combined with pain and analgesics has taken his mind! LOL!

    Smoked Salmon Bagel! YUM!! *walks away from the donut and heads for the bagels!*

  14. Totally agree - the sooner the Sheeple get off their collective rumps and vote for a fringe party, the sooner these leeches will be dispossessed of their champagne lifestyles.

    I suspect that should we all riot in the streets, this shambles of a government would refuse to have elections at all using emergency powers; then we really would be stuffed.

    Re: Guy Fawkes - there is a web site of that name... run by Guido Fawkes which I can thoroughly recommend - he has his knife into the piggies in power!!

    As for an independant committee deciding on expenses - Ha ha ha!!! Turkeys voting for Christmas?! I am not holding my breath over that one....

    Belated Happy Birthday!!

  15. PS You can dream....

  16. Just eating a bagel with smoked salmon,oh master Fu Man Chu, what is thy command.

  17. Here Here TM, although I live in Thailand I still pay UK tax. Therefore I have a vested interest in what these scumbags do. They are worse than criminals in my opinion - all lies, disinformation and despicable behaviour.

  18. I live in the UK, pay UK tax but can't vote as I am a 'foreigner' (yes, scary) albeit from the EU (so I can vote in the locals). It makes my blood boil that I cannot vote on a national level even after 20 years in this lovely country.
    I would not want a UK passport as I am quite happy with my current one, which after all is my identity, but to see my taxes go to waste on this bunch of spongers, without having a say on a national level, is galling.


  19. I agree with you Cora. If you've paid taxes for four years or more and not claimed benefits, then I think you've made enough of a contribution to have a vote. It will happen soon as more people move around the EU. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if someone makes a challenge under the Human Rights Act.

  20. Thanks TM. I am not ranting against the UK as I think the rule is the same everywhere, but I think it's wrong. I have chosen to make a life in the UK, have worked for nigh on 20 years and always paid my taxes, have brought up a family and still cannot vote on a national level. You said you almost became a politician, I can see why!


  21. It's a disgrace. I suppose you could change your nationality but why should you? If the EU should have done one decent thing (and I'mm not sure it has) then it should let residents like you vote. If we can pay child benefit to Polish workers whose children aren't even living in Britain, then why not extend the vote to you? It seems crazy.

  22. well said TM, but nothing will change - politicians make and change the rules as they please, then break them. When they break the rules, they set their own 'punishment'. Surprised you have not picked up on the story of the scientists who are quitting because the government don't agree with their findings or the fact that the scientists have intelligent thinking brains and voiced their opinion. The longer these people stay in power, the more detatched they become from the people they serve... don't even get me started