Thursday 5 November 2009

How about a joke?

No... not me! There's nothing like a laugh to brighten the day so here's one that I think Ann sent me that I thought you might like to share:

A smart, well-dressed woman was walking down the street when a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman asked her for a couple of quid for dinner.
The woman took out her purse and fished out a tenner* and asked: ‘If I give you this money will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?’
‘No, I had to stop drinking years ago,’ the homeless woman replied.
‘Well, would you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?’ the smart woman asked.
‘No, I don’t waste my time shopping,’ the homeless woman replied. ‘I need to spend all my time just trying to stay alive.’
‘Will you spend the money on a beauty salon session instead of food?’ the woman asked.
‘Are you NUTS?’ replied the homeless woman. I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years! '
The smart woman thought for a moment and then said: ‘I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.’
The homeless woman was shocked. ‘But won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I’m dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting and my table manners are appalling.’
‘That’s okay,’ replied the smart woman. ‘It’s important for him to see what happens to a woman if she gives up shopping, hair appointments, and good wine.’

(*That’s a ten-pound note to non-Brits)

PS: I tried to find a good photo to go with this joke but all Google kept throwing up was pictures of Amy Winehouse. Actually that's...

15 comments:

  1. That one made me laugh when I was emailed it before! Excellent!!

    Mmmmh! Perhaps that is why my hubby keeps trying to get me to go to the hairdressers and beautician!!LOL!

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  2. Mmm. I think I'll file that one away in case I need to use it in the future.

    TM, how's the leg feeling today?
    F

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  3. Leg's feeling a bit sore but not too bad. The cast is rather lumpy and bending my leg is a problem but I can work on that. The physio hasn't been by to get me vertical but I hope she'll be here soon. I'm still trying to digest the news that my bad leg is shorter than my good leg. Not quite sure how I can wear normal shoes. I guess I'll have to have steps or different sized heels. I think it's only an inch but enough to be a nuisance.

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  4. poor TM - sorry about the leg shrinkage - were you expecting it or is it a total shock?

    susan

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  5. They said there might be, but the surgeon confirmed it last night. He doesn't say stuff unless he's certain. So I guess it is. I'll get used to it. Thanks.

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  6. Be warned, TM. Getting out of bed and standing up will be a HUGE achievement when it happens.

    Following my last surgery, I passed out on the physios as I got out of bed! OOPS! Previously I did it on the stairs with them so I guess the bed was safer!

    verification word - muscle

    Discuss foowear with physio etc. If it is not corrected you will have hip and back problems because of it.

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  7. I'll stay in bed for now then. Thanks for the tip on the shoes. I guess my days of wearing designer footwear are over... unless Marks & Spencer does a peg-leg range!

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  8. WTF! I'm missing Dickinson's Real Deal... Bye

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  9. I believe you can have normal shoes adapted to fit the purpose, and internal lifts rather than external slabs a friend has a similar problem and has no difficulties in getting it done for his shoes including walking boots.

    You never know, you might be able to get and extension in a few years time to get it longer again.

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  10. Yay! Go TM! No pin! Do your physio! made so much difference to me when I had my shoulder done - yes even if it hurts!

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  11. Fly Flots for men. The shoes are like walking on clouds.My cousin bought a pair for her hubby who suffers from arthritis, he said they were like walking on clouds.

    I wear them as well as I suffer from arthritis badly, and have one leg shorter than the other. Another good pair of foot wear to use are Crocks.

    Ness..

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  12. One of my great university friends has a congenital hip deformity that makes one leg shorter than the other. She gets by by with a combo of specially designed shoes and internal lifts, and has never had a problem.

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  13. After all the stuffing about with my knee I ended up with custom made orthotics in my shoes.. It's actually quite comfortable and discreet TM

    hugs

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