Thursday 24 September 2009

Smuggler's fayre


Thank goodness for mothers and their ability to smuggle in edible food.

And this is what I managed to escape...


34 comments:

  1. Oh TM - you are being spoilt - that looks extremely good - shall I squeeze the lemon for you or can you manage that?? A glass of chilled Chablis?

    Bon Appetit and greetings from sunny blue sky London!

    Cats Mother

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  2. Wow, that looks nourishing!! Real christmas food - actually it's three-quarter Christmas eve tonight, so you're jolly well entitled to make a feast out of it!! You might consider to feast on every monthly recurrence of all world religious holidays plus on every monthly recurrence of birthdays and other anniversaries of yourself, family, friends, acquaintances, hospital staff, salmon-bagel-lovers like yourself, and blog-readers. That should about colour each day at least once or twice. Enjoy your moms visit, TM, best wishes from Austria! Barbara

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  3. mmm but its their....

    mmm Smoked salmon my favourite You made sure it was wild salmon yes?

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  4. Ooooh TM , you lucky thing you! I love SS! I too am in bed ill, not as ill as you obviously but I have a terrible chest infection, am all snotty nose, sore throat and feeling very sorry for myselfI am now also very hungry...

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  5. Ah you added the food bingo. My guess is: at the right hand side a few unmashed boiled and peeled potatoes in an ungiant size (it seems a kind of improvement really), then some kind of fish or white meat on a bed of mushroom sauce, with a chunk of feta cheese on top(strange, isn't it?), and the orange bit looks like grated raw carrots to me. What score have I reached? See you later, TM, I've got to leave for work now. Barbara

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  6. I am not even going to attempt to guess what the orange stuff is with the white dinner!

    SS bagel looks YUM!! I bought a packet of SS in Sainsburys the other night! Cant decide what to do with it tho. Quiche or Eggs or just eat it?

    Glad you are getting some nutrition in at times. Take care.

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  7. Ah TM...
    I recognise that - it is an NHS classic.
    What the menu describes as a "pie", or more accurately, almost-cold chicken and mushroom, glued together with what may well be wallpaper paste (since it tastes of nothing now the salt is not there, topped with a greasy slab of hard carbohydrate. Normally served with cold mashed horse-carrots (with a liberal dose of and E102 and E120 to make them an "appetising" colour) and mechanically-peeled potatoes overboiled in unsalted water. YUM!

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  8. Your mother is the best! Now do you think she could bring some of that lovely food to me (the salmon not the other with the weird orange stuff). That's twice in 2 days I've seen an awesome salmon bagel, i'm craving now!

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  9. Ah-ha! The Lady with The Lox has popped in again I see. Good for her and good for you, obviously.

    Now own up, you've been fiddling with the colour on that other piccy haven't you and made the odd orange thingy misleadingly luminous; quite honestly it looks like that stridently-hued fake ginger hair that pokes out at the back of those comedy Tam-o-shanters.

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  10. What the orange stuff lacked in taste it more than made up for in the most disgusting texture it has ever been my misfortune to place on my tongue. It's mashed carrot and swede without butter, salt or pepper. The four pieces of reformed chicken were hiding under pastry that could have filled a pothole on the M1. And those potatoes had all the allure of an albino slug. How food gets to be made this bad is a mystery to me.

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  11. That Ginger colour is genuine. No Photoshop or other image trickery was used. That was straight out the camera.

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  12. That's exactly like the harvest pie I had including the gluey grey filling. Thank goodness you had an alternative

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  13. The bagel with smoked salmon looks wonderful and it is not surprising that you preferred that to the inedible offering from the hospital kitchen. I have to say that the hospital food makes even my school dinners from more than 40 years ago seem appetising in comparison.

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  14. I'm not sure you should even honour that muck with any legitimate names - it looks bloody awful. What a good job your Mum came today. We don't want you going down with gastro enteritis, we'd miss the posts on your blog. (Is Mary Berry still alive, can you get her to help in your plight, if she's still alive she might like to get her teeth into something (or not as the case may be!)

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  15. Mary is still going strong. Great cake baker!

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  16. Is that a lump of lard or fat sitting on top of the 'pastry'? And the miniscule pink bits floating in the green speckled water; is that ham? Is it supposed to be a ham and mushroom pie? The orange stuff kind of looks like mashed sweet potato, no unlike what I give my baby. Could be quite tasty, but be prepared - it comes out the other end in exactly the same glowing hue.....

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  17. Mmmmm smoked salmon....might have to nip out and buy some of that later. That orange mush looks evil. That chicken mush has to the worst looking meal ever.

    DP

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  18. What a brilliant piece of timing from your Mum - today's dinner looked truly hideous. Just how are you surviving on one (Albeit delicious) smoked salmon bagel a week ?? Have you got a cupboard full of goodies for when no one is looking ?

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  19. The lovely nurses and nice catering people here let me have a panini or poached egg or something like that occasionally if I really can't face the food. I've been here so long though know I need good food. It's not the catering staff's fault, it's the big companies that make the muck and the bureaucrats who make the contracts. As I said before, it's a great hospital staffed with lovely people who really care. I'm very lucky indeed.

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  20. Good grief... it looks like one of the potatoes is sporting a stylish firey orange wig.

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  21. As brightly coloured carrots are, they are just not as fiery as Mother Nature intended them to be. Maybe they used some version of fortified canned carrots to mash up.

    And the chicken. OMG. I'm surprised you have not turned vegetarian. I couldn't have spotted the pastry and thought it was dehydrated chicken skin that looked like cracked plaster!

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  22. It must be a decent place bar the food otherwise I am sure you would be completely barking by now. It is just so annoying that these faceless money grabbing bureaucrats can sully the whole place with their uncaring greed. It should be against the law.
    But hey, thankfully your good wit gives us more fortunate mortals a laugh (Chinese takeaway tonight - sorry )

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  23. Your hospital food pictures make old style school dinners look almost edible.

    (Horrified shudder)

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  24. OMG WHAT IS THAT?!?!

    Turnip? Mashed carrot?

    Mechanically reclaimed/reformed protein product?

    and potatoes.

    Christ, that is revolting.

    Good to see you have been saved at least for today.

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  25. The potatoes are smaller and peeled, so they look fine. The orange mash reminds me of my school days. We had something like that most days and I mostly survived on that, potatoes and bread.

    However, the left part of the plate is a mystery to me. Since I arrived in Britain I've discoved there is a general category called a pie, and this may denote either real pies or something that is only a kind of lumpy sauce.

    I've never really understood the allure of these pies really. I would think that frying the pieces of fish (is it fish?) in some butter rather than baking them into a pie would be simpler and taste better.

    That sauce is horrid. The whole thing looks like an algae-infested coastline.

    Am glad that your Mum came to visit you.

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  26. I shall raise a glass to your mother tonight. Long may she prosper. Long, too, may they prosper who smuggle you in panini and poached eggs.

    As for the other, an anti-emetic is surely called for. That, or a large bin liner.

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  27. What. The. Fuck. is that orange stuff?
    No, I don't mean the salmon - I do know the difference ;o)

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  28. Mashed carrots and swede without any seasoning or butter. It was vile!

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  29. it looks like one of your potatoes is impersonating that anaemic ginger girl out of girls aloud. Probably about as talented as well. Thank goodness for the females in your family for feeding you up. Have you thought of asking one of them to hide a knife in the food so you can cut the ropes on your traction and escape?

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  30. There's a flaw in your plan... I can't walk yet. Cutting the ropes would be a futile protest. Damn. I need an SAS-style rescue mission. Something like the Iranian Embassy siege job.

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  31. Potato in the front is winking at us .... the three in the back are singing " Stayin alive ", while the ferthest spud is wearing a wig of ginger hair, they think the shortcrust pastry is a raft you see.

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  32. I though the orange stuff was a particular variety of fungus that grows on dead tree limbs.... and slow moving catering staff.

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  33. Has Donald Trump got spare ginger wig?

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  34. No Donald's spare wig mysteriously vanished .... hmmmmmmm

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