Tomatoes ! Broccoli ! Potatoes ! Cheese sauce ! Probably some residual soap too as they probably don't rinse their plates properly. Yummy. Is there a prize ?
You should stick Adsense ads on your blog and make some money while you're in the nick. Have the Americans been informed of our delicious food ?
You've all done very well. It is drowned broccoli in cheese-flavoured wallpaper paste with grilled tomatoes and a little delicacy called potato gems. ABout as hard as a diamond!
I applied for AdSense but they said my blog was too complicated to navigate and turned me down. I only wanted to make a few pennies to cover my broadband costs while in hospital. Someone on the Radio 4 PM blog was disgusted that I had a donate button on my blog and urged the BBC to have nothing to do with me. It was probably Lord Reith. As if I'm going to make money from this. As a freelance journalist stuck in hospital I'm obviously raking in the cash... not. Some people are so vindictive.
You poor man. You poor, poor man. How you are managing to maintain your sense of humor is amazing to me. Keep up the sarcasm! It looks like the only thing that will keep you going!
Broccoli cheese with pork chops and grilled tomatoes.
I'm surprised you get a cooked supper, at my local hospital it was something squashed in a dry sandwich or roll, possibly with flavourless soup and a calamine lotion yoghurt or a jelly.Jellies were the nicest thing I ate/will eat again.
(Abstu-possibly a subliminal message warning you to abstain from the stew )
Sorry, I keep deleting comments as I get carried away with the security word thing and post it in the wrong place!
I thought for sure that they were pork medallions and was thinking that they didn't look TOO horrible....but then to find out that they aren't even a meat product? Or a pretend meat product? Awful. This makes hospital food in the US look downright gourmet!
The idea of a donate button is that people can donate if they wish... i.e free of choice, unlike the people making the money out of the patientlines....for which you have no choice but to pay...
I think it looks like broccoli with cheese cream along side with badly fried tomatoes. That other thing, could it be meat of some sort? I don't know but that really looks disgusting~!
Forgot to mention in my last comments - just to make things worse, when I was inside they tended to serve meals at ridiculous times of the day. So just when I wasn't hungry, they'd serve me a meal. Breakfast at 7 (for christ's sake I don't have brekky at that time of the day when I'm well), lunch at 12 noon and dinner at 5pm!!!! Give me a break. Are you getting yours at sensible times?
Tomatoes? Are you certain? I was going to guess blistered mountain oysters. As for the wall paper paste, I would debate that it is actually a mixture of wallpaper and library paste. And is it wise for NHS to supply so much weapons grade food as evidenced by your taters? Is not the kniving crisis enough?
I'd have guessed broccoli, tomatoes and those funny potato wedges - not meat. Ew. My brother was in hospital for 8 days and without sarnies from the canteen he'd have starved. I really feel for you. Traction man, I hope you get well soon. Curvygirl x
That broccoli mess looks like someone chewed it up to save you the trouble. I've seen .99 cent frozen TV dinners that looked more appetizing than this slop! You poor thing! I just want to feed you something!!!
Hmm, coupla years ago I was in hospital for a bout of Pancreatitis (which, I hasten to add, the hospital had caused me to have), the treatment for which is a saline drip and Nil By Mouth for at least five days. I didn't actually miss the food at all!
I think we should now play hospital bingo - Name that Hospital!
My vote goes for a Spa town in the Cotswolds. Cook chill food with reduced salt, sugar and fat (for all, as it's cheaper than having separate menus for diabetics etc) - MMMMMuck!!!
Why am I lucky? I paid my taxes. If your car insurer gave you shoddy service would you say "you're lucky to get anything"? The NHS is not free. I'm not complaining because I want gourmet food but I am concerned that 40% of NHS food gets thrown away because it's inedible. That's a waste of taxpayers' money. It's even more wasteful when expensive medical treatment fails because patients are malnourished. Where did you grow up? The Soviet Union?
Broccoli & pasta in a white(cheese) sauce, with potato hash browns and tomatoes. Although why they would serve potato's and pasta is a bit beyond me. Michael Roux Jr is probably spinning thinking about it!
I'll be honest with you, particularly given the slatings from abroad about being grateful for the food at all. What I've seen on this blog looks Cordon Bleu compared to what my wife was faced with eating when she had a transplant. I cooked every evening after work and rushed to the hospital with it in order that she at least got proper nourishment.
Malnourishment in British hospitals is a very real problem. Much as some of you may wonder what the complaining is about, when it appears that veg is provided, you fail to realise that most of the nutritional value of the veg has been washed down the sink when it was drained.
Prisoners get better food and that is an absurd state of affairs.
Looks like broccoli, probably boiled until all goodness has gone, put in an artificial 'cheese flavoured' sauce. Grilled toms then some form of dead and dried out flesh.
I think my dogs would leave most of that on the plate. They may lick the flesh, then look at me with those accusative eyes implying that I was trying to poison them.
Anyway, you're now famous via the BBC. I can't wait to see what you're having for breakfast.
Good luck. Leave an address and I'm sure we'll all post you something edible.
What the? Are they serving you dog sick? Just discovered your blog thanks to an article at www.news.com.au, here's the link: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26085493-401,00.html Great job of keeping yourself entertained while in the hell-hole they call a hospital! Hope you are out soon....
Have the Americans been informed of our delicious food ?
Indeed, we have. If Nelson knew you would eventually have food like this, I daresay he would have struck his colors at Trafalgar. Along that line, we would be happy to send you some weevil infested hard tack if NHS will permit you to upgrade your diet in that manner.
You dont seriously think that the NHS is here to provide you FOOD that you are supposed to EAT do you?? The NHS "diet" is exactly that - statistically we are turning into a nation of fatties, 46% of the population will spend some time in their life in a hospital bed, so this is one of the few times in an adults life that the government has a direct opportunity to reduce their weight. I will let you into a small secret - many hospitals do have organisations such as the League of Friends - and many of these both have shops/cafe's and also run a trolley service. If you manage to befriend one of these "Friends" you may be able to persuade them to smuggle you in a sandwich or pizza under the wraps of a newspaper of magazine - think French resistance meets the great escape ...
I would like to say how much I appreciate the overwhelming kindness shown to me by most posters on this blog. For the first time in my life I am genuinely lost for words and so utterly grateful for the support at such a difficult time. It's good to know that despite what the media says, the overwhelming majority of people are kind, caring and considerate. I thank you all most sincerely. TA
Maybe, maybe, this is a clever way of determining if you are depressed to the point of being suicidal. After all a long term in the hospital must takes its toll on the normally blythe spirits you exhibit to friends and family.
So in order to gauge any need for a psych consult they present you with this muck. Eat it cheerfully without complaint you obviously have a head injury which effected your taste buds. Eat it while complaining shows you are in the normal range of emotional and mental health. But eat it with a grim determination and stoicism and you have figured out the autopsy will not show anything to suggest an unnatural death so that suicide clause in your life insurance policy will not be a problem. So the NHS concludes you are depressed and begins immediate shadow puppet shows to cheer you up.
Sadly it doesn't have pictures! But when the boredom strikes, you could browse the recipe list and see if you spot any familiar names, then look down the ingredient list to see what was supposedly in it.
I know what that is, I think. It's Green and Yellow Chewy, with battered dry fried flop flops and tomatoes.
Another day another meal.
Get well soon, of course if you do what will we have to look at in the way of this wonderful cuisine. Cough cough cough sorry got a dry fried flop flop stuck in my throat.
Who on earth would select that combination of food for a meal?? I'm assuming that the broccoli has been covered in a cheese sauce, served up with tomatoes. I've no idea what the yellow crispy thing is at the bottom though. Chicken? Looks minging though.
Good news Traction Man, I have found the dietary guidelines issued by NHS that pertain to your situation. They are using the Rodent Food Regulation Policy from Boston University and Boston Medical Center Office of Research Compliance. Which states in part:
"L. Food restriction studies must assure that the diet is nutritionally adequate so that the animal’s metabolic requirements are met and the animal receives the minimal daily requirement of protein, fats, carbohydrates plus vitamins and minerals to stay healthy. Above applies unless the study investigates the minimal nutritional requirement of a certain food component or if the intent of the study is to test hypotheses related to the pathophysiological effects of nutrient deficiency or weight loss."
I think you need not say anymore about the food quality. They don't yammer on and on about it, do they?
This looks just like the contents of my cat's stomach after he had eaten a lizard and was subsequently sick. (Or at least it did until the dog got to it and ate it all over again!)
oh wow traction man the food looks horrendous....haha i love the youtube link, lol i wonder how long until jamie oliver finds out. just curious, are you having many x-rays done? im a radiographer in australia and always wonder if long term patients like us or loathe us, as we generally get you to move into positions that are uncomfortable, but if you are 'lucky' enough to get taken down to the radiology department i hope that the change in scenery is a bit of entertainment :P get well soon, maybe ask for some milk to get your calcium levels up so that femur of yours hardens up <3 Sarah
goodness me, what do you have indeed. I cant imagine what that combination must taste like... Are they organic tomatoes (i think not) good luck, love the bingo game. should move to twitter to keep the old brain active. Aussie lass
Love your food bingo! Here in Australia the food in Hospitals is much the same, maybe there's method in their madness, kill off all the patients to get them out quicker? Anyway, keep your chin up, whats your addy and we'll all order delivery from local restaurants for you and your cellmates, oops, I mean fellow patients. xo
Bear-battered fillets of deep-sea Dory accompanied by sugar-loaf cabbage and brocolini in a sauce of blue cheese and organic cream with slow-cooked oven-roasted tomatoes drizzled with herb-infused olive oil.
Look it’s obvious that this is not intended for consumption. The components clearly consist of a DIY self sustenance pack; 1. Bait - the nice shiny tomatoes 2. Capture - the glue 3. Club to death your prey the rocks of death so aptly named 'potatoe gems' However it is not clear to me what type of prey and how you will prepare it for eating. Perhaps the NHS have some guidelines or a whitepaper on this?
Hello. Nurse Ratched here. I must say I have just about had enough of your petulant chit-chat decrying the beloved institution that IS - *hospital food* - you naughty man!
I eventually traced your IP to this floor - NOW I just need to keep an eye out for you blogging away as I do my rounds...AND when I catch you ... I believe some cold sponge baths may just be in order!!
[Now all you lot reading this - clear off! your just encouraging him - *taps foot impatiently and gives sternest matronly glare over glasses* ]
Traction man Get some Vitamin D3 5000iu from iherb.com and get them down you at least one of two a day for the rest of your hospital stay You will recover much faster and you will boost your immune system and beat the bugs. Plus you wont get the dreaded swine flu either
Oh, you poor fellow. I had a few weeks in hospital when each of my children were born and I also refused to eat hospital food. Seems to be a global phenomenon, lol ! It's reprehensible that hospitals don't understand the links between good nutrition and patient recovery.
My father very kindly rang and took my food order before coming to see me each day. I've never been so grateful to him as I was at that time.
Hope your recovery speeds up (despite lack of nutrition !).
Thanks. Can't give out my address or else chef will be up here with a meat cleaver before I can bite into my next lump of wallpaper paste. Really kind thought. Making people laugh is my favourite medicine and that will keep me going.
Have you thought about the idea of a reality TV show based on the food you're getting? You could have a winner there - the contestant could guess what is in the food. Of course NHS employees would not be allowed to enter. The main prize could be to spend 12 months in a hospital eating that crap.
I know it's not a five star hotel. I'm in here for a bad leg not brain damage. Now push off back to bed and try getting out the right side. Lots of love TA
Hey Traction Man, Michelle from ABC Radio in Australia again... not sure if I actually posted my last comment. I'm hoping to talk to you on Hair of the Blog, on ABC Radio in Darwin, Australia (see link) I know it's important not to spell out where you are... what if I give you my number so you don't have to reveal identity / location? Or you could text... anyway, I'm still super keen for a 5-minute phone chat - cheers +61 423 305 332
Another post from the antipodes. Although it pains me to say this after the recent Ashes series, good luck, and hope you do not have to keep up this great blog for too much longer.
It is a hospital. Not the Hilton. The kitchens have to supply meals for all types of dietary requirements. Diabetics, renal failure, heart problems etc. They do the best they can. Families can help with special stuff. It is very hard for a hospital kitchen do cope with the individual requirements of each patient. That is why the food is bland.
Read about you from an Aust newspaper (http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/disgusting-hospital-food-gets-a-serve-on-bingo-blog-20090918-fula.html). I simpathise with you as i have just recently been hospitalised though only for a relative short time.
Maybe you can ask for the NHS guy to visit you on Nov 7th if you are still there, maybe even join you for lunch.
After all English is not well regarded for its cuisine. Moreover you are in the hospital not 5 star hotel so what do you expect. Hospital food is known to be crapped in any countries. Get well and get out of the hospital!!
Thats Creamed Broccolli, Lightly-Grilled Tomatoes and Spam Fritters. Mmmm Spam Fritters, takes me back to the 1940's.... do they still taste like rubber bands? Get well soon (although if you have to eat that stuff you wont!)
Just heard you talking on ABC Radio in Perth, Western Australia.
It must be awful being in traction and having to put up with NHS food.
Your talk made me realise how much most of us don't appreciate our health. Being able to go for a walk is something we take for granted. Even doing house work which I'm avoiding is a bonus!
It's been raining a lot here in Perth this September. Believe it or not there is just as much rain in Perth as in England but it tends to all come down in one short season and then there is no rain at all for weeks.
However, apparently this Spring is the wettest since 1915 and so far i has rained every day in September except for one. Sounds just like England (where I'm from originally).
Best wishes for your recovery.
Hope you get someone to come in apart from your family to bring you some decent food.
I have just heard your radio interview while I was sitting in my car overlooking the ocean in Mindarie. I left the UK NHS (I am a nurse) many years ago and I am now working in the health service here. I have to admit that although I miss my family in the UK I dont miss the NHS. I can see that the food is as bad now as it was then, It is a disgrace that many patients leave hospital undernourished. The food in my hospital is not great but they do supply well balanced meals( they dont always look appetizing though). I hope you recovery goes well and that you may soon be back home with your family. Good Luck
This brings to mind an old saying "Who called the cook a bastard ?" "Who called the bastard a cook !"
I have one word for you mate Emigrate !
Having spent 2 months in hospital a couple of years ago, what people don't realize is that meals become the highlight of your extremely boring day.
Here in the land of Oz the hospital meals are a far bit better though bland, nowhere near like the drek you are being fed. You should try being diabetic, they interpret this as no sugar but heaps of healthy white rice and other high carb food that you would never eat yourself but if you don't eat it ya starve. At least you are in hospital do they know how to treat malnutrition ?
I love your blog! I hate the NHS, I hope the nurses are nicer thean any of the ones i have ever met...usually overweight and lazy and always miserable! Get well soon! x
@Steven Hutchinson Would you accept counterfeit and out of date drugs from your doctor? Why should I accept food that isn't of sufficient quality to heal my bones.?Try laying on your back for 22 weeks and see how you feel. Now go away and take a happy pill and try to be a slightly nicer human being!
No the NHS isn't free. Yes I appreciate the medical care. Yes I will really try not to get struck down by a bacterium than loves feasting on me innards again, I realise that was indeed selfish of me. No I am not whining , I am in fact poking fun in a satirical way. If you cannot understand the difference then please come back when you have grown a brain cell, and a personality.
Love the blog, hope you get well soon. I cannot believe the people who tell you to stop moaning, they have obviously not had to endure the slop that you get served. My Dad has been in for 8 weeks and then out for two and back for 8. First hospital was terrible he lost 12 kilos, we ended up cooking food and taking it in. Fortunately where he is now is reasonable. I don't think you are looking for gourmet - edible would do.
I was in hospital for 6 weeks and lived on salad the whole time. This has two advantages, a) its easily identifiable and b) it earns you extra brownie points with the healthy eating bods who think you always live like this.
OMG!!!! My single stay in hospital served me up an orange as my "meal" before I was allowed home. Seeing what else I could have been given I am relieved that they let me out quickly!!!!!!
From what I can gather, you have been treated for six months by the NHS in hospital AND fed by them. Have they sent you a bill? Have you paid for this at all? It strikes me that in your whole life you will never contribute half the taxes that this stay has cost the country, so if I were you, I'd try and find some gratitude and shut up the whining complaints.
Have you investigated whether the NHS do a personality transplant yet? If not, local colleges usually run courses in reading comprehension, I would enrol in one if I was you. You will get taught to read what bloggers have previously put in their comments then, and it stops you making a prat of yourself publicly, although you do appear to be adept at it.
@Karin-thankyou! I can't beat your go at the bingo though, brilliant! :-)
I am utterly amazed at the amount of people having a go at Traction Man! The guy is in hospital through no fault of his own. He has been a tax payer and is NOT, repeat NOT complaining about the quality of medical care he is receiving. A rare thing in todays society and hospitals! For those complaining, have you ever needed to be hospitalised? Worse, for a long time and be incapacitated the way TM is? It is not funny at all and if all he is complaining about is the food then I think the hospital he is in should consider themselves to be fabulous!
I wonder how the hospital would cope with someone with special dietary needs? Coeliac or food allergies? Would it cope? Could it provide the food needed? I have my doubts!
I have been a patient and I have seen how food arrives on wards. Worse, I have seen how patients have been left to attempt to eat it themselves when they are clearly unable to do so!
Go Traction Man! Keep up the good work in bringing hospital based nutrition to the forefront! This is a very serious subject. See todays report about care homes in Scotland! People NEED nutrients in order to heal and stay well!
Do you need the number of a decent take away that delivers?
You are missing the point! a) It's humorous b)How much he has contributed doesn't matter. I have been paying taxes all my life (now at the higher rate) and - thankfully - have not spent more than a total of a couple of days in hospital when giving birth - in my case without the need for expensive treatment. So I am massively in 'credit' re the NHS, but I still got the same slop! c) As the food is inedible, there is huge wastage. Significantly, the better hospital food website has a document on waste management on its *front page*. That's your and my tax pounds going into landfill - they can't even feed it to pigs anymore. As with school meals and hospital cleaning, outsourcing this to private and centralized contractors means that low cost (for the NHS) and maximized profit (for the supplier) is the major motive, resulting in a non-competitive market where the actual customers (the patients) being at one remove, are unable to exercise the sort of choice which controls any free market. BTW Traction Man - I am shocked that you have to pay for broadband. An organisation the size of the NHS should be able to negotiate a pretty good deal where actual bandwidth usage cost is negligable. They are either incompetant (this would be no surprise as most public IT procurements are a disaster) or they are trying to recoup costs in the same way over the odds telephone charges, hospital parking etc. Would someone please rid the NHS of these middle management bean counters who know the cost of everything and the value of nothing, and replace them with medical staff?
Reminds m of a scene from the remake of 'The Fly' a few years ago, when the scientist (Geoff Goldblum) has had the unfortunate mutation with a fly and is slowly becoming one. He spots a doughnut and vomits on it before he can ingest it... looks like someone in your hospital's catering department has a genetic mutation...........
Your dinner looked entirely edible for rat's whom in theory we are genetically linked to. Does this mean we will eat the same food?
I am currently wondering if the NHS are possibly making 'us' patients eat such food, because a large portion of the population are overweight. Is this a way of making people lose weight in a discrete way?
Looking forward to this evenings meal, though maybe you should order a 2nd breakfast?
Fantatstic, can I have some please? I'm stuck in the desert in the middle east and trust me that looks good compared to some of the food items I have been served of late. Anyway, I'll go for Champignons verts en sauce à fromage, les tomates aplaties ont fait cuire en pétrole brut,la partie latérale de la mise à mort de route de poulet, étant cuit à la friteuse dans le sperme congelé du laboratoire.
Be strong Traction Man, we're all thinking of you here on the outside. I can sympathize wholeheartedly. I spent some time in hospital a while ago and was fed stock cube soup and black tea (both tepid) three meals a day "just until your digestive system is working properly again". It remains a mystery to this day how my digestive system was going to start up on that diet! Anyway sunshine, great blog and keep smiling :) Your a hit in Oz XOXOX
And this is an improvement? It just looks ghastly. I think the petrified grey mushrooms look particularly nasty - not to mention the playdough type inidentifiable protein products.
I can't believe anybody would have a problem with you having a donate button - it's not as though they HAVE to donate!! And anybody with one brain cell knows that when you're in hospital and not earning, every penny you can get counts!
Alternatives to Adsense can be found here: http://www.rosswalker.co.uk/adsense_top10/
I hope you get well again soon Traction Man - although I will miss you as you have kept me company for some very long days at work!
The tomatoes are obvious, having worked in hospitals for a while the 'staple' brocolli cheese / brocolli in white sauce seems obvious.
The other things i have no idea, i would hazzar,d a guess at deep-fried ears.... which, if you're prepared to turn to cannabilism by now may be a preferred option.
Just a quick P.S: I did lose 10kilos in that week....which is a good thing right? Just think of how slim and fit(?) your getting Traction Man, there's always an upside lol.
And a down side....or a number of them in this case. Do you have the green ladies and their lolly trolley's over there? Thats how I got my digestive system working again - I cheated :D
For those who say that Traction Man should be grateful for something that looks like wallpaper paste as his dinner because he hasn't paid for his treatment- yes of course he has paid. What on earth do you think Taxes and NI are for? What's more, NHS patients are suffering malnutrition. I was in hospital once for three days and lost half a stone. Do you think that should be applauded? When my Mum was undergoing radiotherapy for cancer, she would have starved if I hadn't taken her in food. So thousands of pounds of treatment would have been wasted because of c**p food. How sensible is that? What's more, it wouldn't surprise me if the medics are cheering him on as well since they have to eat this muck too. Do stop and think before you put up silly spiteful comments.
I think the lack of any meat products may be a bit of a blessing really. You'd never know what you were getting; roadkill, failed lab experiments. Could be nasty, I'd stick with vegetable matter if I were you.
From densnaps Sorry dont know how to not be anon.... I'm not a negative Anon poster tho. I totally agree with TM, Had a ten day visit for radical prostectomy Started good on admitance waited from miday till 7 in evening to get a bed by which time food had long since gone away however nursing staff managed to rustle up some edible sarnies. The following tendays were interesting very impressed with the offered menu nicely printed options its a shame the written word bore no relad up on the plate.i was luckly being able after a few days mobile enough to toddle down to the shopping area where tasty food was available. After a Short time back at home I had to go back for a short planned stay. once again I had a long wait for a bed , As it was occupied. When I took possesion I inherited the previous occupiers meal choice.He was on the outside actually "inside" A guest of her majesty's Preston Prison service. It turned out He had ordered every thing so I was able to "enjoy" a fairly decent meal from the selection. From these two periods very short compared to your Incaseration TM at least 75% of the food offered was inedible and returned Terrible waste,edible items were Fruit or fresh Orange juice. I dont understand why if I went down to the hospital cafe in the foyer I could get an edible meal this of course was for healthy vistors. the sick were fed cooling slop??? Like you TM I have worked all my life and paid all Taxes and NI contributions this was only my third Hospital Visit. 30 Years ago a Week in Hastings Hospital the Food was great. Really Enjoy your Blog Keep it up and ignore the Detractors I know in some Hospitals abroad You have to provide your own domestic care including food but you know that before you go 9in. A few years Ago my wife ended up in hospital in Southern Spain The food was great Provided by outsde caterers as in the local restuant you got the menu and it arrived HOT and enjoyable.....Okay catering on a smaller scale but..... Son is chef in the army, numbers there are in the same proportions to Hospital and facilities not quite as good in the Sandy climes ,the food if not up to scratch is "Remarked upon" you dont upset a bunch of squaddies either by serving poor quality or repeating the same old stuff All the best TM get well soon
My friend had elective surgery in a public hospital in Milan, Italy and he had to provide his own toilet paper. He was even interrogated by the cleaner as to where his toilet paper had come from!! We thought it was very funny, but Gaetano was terrified of having it stolen while he slept!
In that case I feel blessed. Remind me not to get sick in Milan. Where are all you Italian bloggers? Rise up! We're on a roll. That's a blog roll and not a bog roll, by the way!
This is cream of brocolli with pork chops.
ReplyDeletecauliflower/broccoli cheese with tomatoes and maybe hash browns? Am I being over-optimistic.
ReplyDeleteBroccoli and cheese something, and porkchop that looks like microwave chicken from an instant dinner! Lawl, you poor soul.
ReplyDeletebroccli cheese with tomatoes and meat product.
ReplyDeletebrocolli with cheese and grilled chicken?
ReplyDeleteis it spam fritters with broccoli cheese and grilled tomatoes? No wonder the disease is eating you not the hospital cuisine!
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best – hope you get out soon.
Broccoli in a white sauce (aka flour and water) with tomatoes and something that's supposed to be meat - pork/chicken maybe? That's my best guess.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the funny blog :)
Tomatoes ! Broccoli ! Potatoes ! Cheese sauce ! Probably some residual soap too as they probably don't rinse their plates properly. Yummy. Is there a prize ?
ReplyDeleteYou should stick Adsense ads on your blog and make some money while you're in the nick. Have the Americans been informed of our delicious food ?
You've all done very well. It is drowned broccoli in cheese-flavoured wallpaper paste with grilled tomatoes and a little delicacy called potato gems. ABout as hard as a diamond!
ReplyDelete...and I thought they were chicken nuggets with the breadcrumbs cooked off, or perhaps pork - something once alive and now very, very dead.
ReplyDeleteI applied for AdSense but they said my blog was too complicated to navigate and turned me down. I only wanted to make a few pennies to cover my broadband costs while in hospital. Someone on the Radio 4 PM blog was disgusted that I had a donate button on my blog and urged the BBC to have nothing to do with me. It was probably Lord Reith. As if I'm going to make money from this. As a freelance journalist stuck in hospital I'm obviously raking in the cash... not. Some people are so vindictive.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou poor man. You poor, poor man. How you are managing to maintain your sense of humor is amazing to me. Keep up the sarcasm! It looks like the only thing that will keep you going!
ReplyDeleteBroccoli cheese with pork chops and grilled tomatoes.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised you get a cooked supper, at my local hospital it was something squashed in a dry sandwich or roll, possibly with flavourless soup and a calamine lotion yoghurt or a jelly.Jellies were the nicest thing I ate/will eat again.
(Abstu-possibly a subliminal message warning you to abstain from the stew )
Sorry, I keep deleting comments as I get carried away with the security word thing and post it in the wrong place!
I thought for sure that they were pork medallions and was thinking that they didn't look TOO horrible....but then to find out that they aren't even a meat product? Or a pretend meat product? Awful.
ReplyDeleteThis makes hospital food in the US look downright gourmet!
See now I am 3 conversations behind!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would never have said that was potato!!
The idea of a donate button is that people can donate if they wish... i.e free of choice, unlike the people making the money out of the patientlines....for which you have no choice but to pay...
you really need to take a look at "steve don't eat it!"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php
I think he is still alive...
Obviously fried tomatoes, broccoli swimming in something and.... chops? Did you eat it?
ReplyDeleteNo I didn't eat it. I'm here to get better!
ReplyDeleteI think it looks like broccoli with cheese cream along side with badly fried tomatoes. That other thing, could it be meat of some sort? I don't know but that really looks disgusting~!
ReplyDeleteGet on to The Guardian they've always got blogs like this and a lot of them not nearly as good! I'm gonna send them an email :-)
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself
Is it a sneeze?
ReplyDeleteForgot to mention in my last comments - just to make things worse, when I was inside they tended to serve meals at ridiculous times of the day. So just when I wasn't hungry, they'd serve me a meal. Breakfast at 7 (for christ's sake I don't have brekky at that time of the day when I'm well), lunch at 12 noon and dinner at 5pm!!!! Give me a break. Are you getting yours at sensible times?
ReplyDeleteGenuine immitation broccoli with recycled pork-chops and/or deep fried Spam.
ReplyDeleteAm I close?
Broccoli with cheesy goo, tomatoes and fried something... looks horrid. Its like school dinners all over again. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteIs breakfast any better? It must be pretty hard to mess up breakfast...
Tomatoes? Are you certain? I was going to guess blistered mountain oysters. As for the wall paper paste, I would debate that it is actually a mixture of wallpaper and library paste. And is it wise for NHS to supply so much weapons grade food as evidenced by your taters? Is not the kniving crisis enough?
ReplyDeleteRemember colourful is not synonymous with edible.
ReplyDeleteEx-Pat Alfie
Hey Traction Man, there are numerous other companies besides Google Adsense. Type 'Google Adsense alternatives' into Google.
ReplyDeletegot it - its square tin, plus round tin plus cardboard box
ReplyDeleteoff to get paypal clicky now
I thought that might have been pork escalopes with broccoli in a cheese sauce with grilled tomatoes, but ...
ReplyDeleteI'm disgusted that anyone would be disgusted about you having a donate button. It's a shame that adsense wouldn't work for you.
All the best, fuzzylon.
I'd have guessed broccoli, tomatoes and those funny potato wedges - not meat. Ew. My brother was in hospital for 8 days and without sarnies from the canteen he'd have starved. I really feel for you.
ReplyDeleteTraction man, I hope you get well soon.
Curvygirl x
That broccoli mess looks like someone chewed it up to save you the trouble. I've seen .99 cent frozen TV dinners that looked more appetizing than this slop!
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing! I just want to feed you something!!!
Hmm, coupla years ago I was in hospital for a bout of Pancreatitis (which, I hasten to add, the hospital had caused me to have), the treatment for which is a saline drip and Nil By Mouth for at least five days. I didn't actually miss the food at all!
ReplyDeleteI think we should now play hospital bingo - Name that Hospital!
ReplyDeleteMy vote goes for a Spa town in the Cotswolds. Cook chill food with reduced salt, sugar and fat (for all, as it's cheaper than having separate menus for diabetics etc) - MMMMMuck!!!
Am I right?
I would have guessed it was, fried carpet slipper soles, broccoli in wood glue paste and last weeks tomatoes scavanged from a dumpster..!!
ReplyDeleteNHS food is a disgrace.
Ness xx
Fussy, fussy, fussy. Lucky you get treatment.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm. Battered pigs ears, corridor dried tomatoes and broccoli with a lard jus?
ReplyDeleteWhy am I lucky? I paid my taxes. If your car insurer gave you shoddy service would you say "you're lucky to get anything"? The NHS is not free. I'm not complaining because I want gourmet food but I am concerned that 40% of NHS food gets thrown away because it's inedible. That's a waste of taxpayers' money. It's even more wasteful when expensive medical treatment fails because patients are malnourished. Where did you grow up? The Soviet Union?
ReplyDeletefried tomatoes from yesterday,
ReplyDeleteboiled-to-death broccoli with plastic cheese and last week's leftover potato latkes (cakes).
as an educated guess I'd say broccoli cheese with hash browns-oh yes NHS finest
ReplyDeleteFirst prize to you!
ReplyDeleteOnce again it is the presentation that at a distance - and I certainly have no desire to get any closer - offends.
ReplyDeleteGranted brocolli slop is never going to be easy to serve with any style or panache, but if so then why cook it at all?
The potatoes though and the tomatoes only speak of being dumped on the plate with no care, consideration, pride or thought of any kind.
Dash it to the floor my man. Take a stand, or as much a one as traction permits!
Broccoli & pasta in a white(cheese) sauce, with potato hash browns and tomatoes. Although why they would serve potato's and pasta is a bit beyond me. Michael Roux Jr is probably spinning thinking about it!
ReplyDeleteBroccoli, tomatoes and potatoes. So... you ended up going with the vegetarian option? ;)
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest with you, particularly given the slatings from abroad about being grateful for the food at all. What I've seen on this blog looks Cordon Bleu compared to what my wife was faced with eating when she had a transplant. I cooked every evening after work and rushed to the hospital with it in order that she at least got proper nourishment.
ReplyDeleteMalnourishment in British hospitals is a very real problem. Much as some of you may wonder what the complaining is about, when it appears that veg is provided, you fail to realise that most of the nutritional value of the veg has been washed down the sink when it was drained.
Prisoners get better food and that is an absurd state of affairs.
Chin up though Traction Man.
Looks like broccoli, probably boiled until all goodness has gone, put in an artificial 'cheese flavoured' sauce. Grilled toms then some form of dead and dried out flesh.
ReplyDeleteI think my dogs would leave most of that on the plate. They may lick the flesh, then look at me with those accusative eyes implying that I was trying to poison them.
Anyway, you're now famous via the BBC. I can't wait to see what you're having for breakfast.
Good luck. Leave an address and I'm sure we'll all post you something edible.
Vomit, some sort of spud and tomatoes?
ReplyDeleteHope you get well soon
What the? Are they serving you dog sick?
ReplyDeleteJust discovered your blog thanks to an article at www.news.com.au, here's the link:
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26085493-401,00.html
Great job of keeping yourself entertained while in the hell-hole they call a hospital! Hope you are out soon....
Yes - and more international coverage, here in Germany at http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/0,1518,649564,00.html
ReplyDeleteThey even tried to be funny - talking about the "english patient"
Have the Americans been informed of our delicious food ?
ReplyDeleteIndeed, we have. If Nelson knew you would eventually have food like this, I daresay he would have struck his colors at Trafalgar. Along that line, we would be happy to send you some weevil infested hard tack if NHS will permit you to upgrade your diet in that manner.
You dont seriously think that the NHS is here to provide you FOOD that you are supposed to EAT do you?? The NHS "diet" is exactly that - statistically we are turning into a nation of fatties, 46% of the population will spend some time in their life in a hospital bed, so this is one of the few times in an adults life that the government has a direct opportunity to reduce their weight.
ReplyDeleteI will let you into a small secret - many hospitals do have organisations such as the League of Friends - and many of these both have shops/cafe's and also run a trolley service. If you manage to befriend one of these "Friends" you may be able to persuade them to smuggle you in a sandwich or pizza under the wraps of a newspaper of magazine - think French resistance meets the great escape ...
There only one thing it can possibly be.......it fookin minging!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would like to say how much I appreciate the overwhelming kindness shown to me by most posters on this blog. For the first time in my life I am genuinely lost for words and so utterly grateful for the support at such a difficult time. It's good to know that despite what the media says, the overwhelming majority of people are kind, caring and considerate. I thank you all most sincerely. TA
ReplyDeleteIt might still actually be alive, so go carefully.
ReplyDeleteMaybe, maybe, this is a clever way of determining if you are depressed to the point of being suicidal. After all a long term in the hospital must takes its toll on the normally blythe spirits you exhibit to friends and family.
ReplyDeleteSo in order to gauge any need for a psych consult they present you with this muck. Eat it cheerfully without complaint you obviously have a head injury which effected your taste buds. Eat it while complaining shows you are in the normal range of emotional and mental health. But eat it with a grim determination and stoicism and you have figured out the autopsy will not show anything to suggest an unnatural death so that suicide clause in your life insurance policy will not be a problem. So the NHS concludes you are depressed and begins immediate shadow puppet shows to cheer you up.
Paula
TM-
ReplyDeleteHave you seen this website??
http://195.92.246.148/nhsestates/better_hospital_food/bhf_content/introduction/home.asp
Sadly it doesn't have pictures! But when the boredom strikes, you could browse the recipe list and see if you spot any familiar names, then look down the ingredient list to see what was supposedly in it.
:-)
Was it served as breakfast/lunch or dinner?
ReplyDeleteGood Lord!! Looks like lumps of sputum...
ReplyDeleteYou know, if they'd dropped that stuff on Germany, the War would have been over in 6 months.
Talking about growing up in the Soviet Union, I reckon those tomatoes have been flown straight in from Chernobyl!
ReplyDeleteI know what that is, I think. It's Green and Yellow Chewy, with battered dry fried flop flops and tomatoes.
ReplyDeleteAnother day another meal.
Get well soon, of course if you do what will we have to look at in the way of this wonderful cuisine. Cough cough cough sorry got a dry fried flop flop stuck in my throat.
Who on earth would select that combination of food for a meal?? I'm assuming that the broccoli has been covered in a cheese sauce, served up with tomatoes. I've no idea what the yellow crispy thing is at the bottom though. Chicken? Looks minging though.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Carly
Good news Traction Man, I have found the dietary guidelines issued by NHS that pertain to your situation. They are using the Rodent Food Regulation Policy from Boston University and Boston Medical Center Office of Research Compliance. Which states in part:
ReplyDelete"L. Food restriction studies must assure that the diet is nutritionally adequate so that the animal’s metabolic requirements are met and the animal receives the minimal daily requirement of protein, fats, carbohydrates plus vitamins and minerals to stay healthy. Above applies unless the study investigates the minimal nutritional requirement of a certain food component or if the intent of the study is to test hypotheses related to the pathophysiological effects of nutrient deficiency or weight loss."
I think you need not say anymore about the food quality. They don't yammer on and on about it, do they?
Paula
This looks just like the contents of my cat's stomach after he had eaten a lizard and was subsequently sick. (Or at least it did until the dog got to it and ate it all over again!)
ReplyDeleteI looked at this and immediately thought "deep-fried flip-flop with a month-old tomato and brocolli in a rat-phlegm sauce".
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can juz eat the hash brown and tomato. They do look edible. You need energy.
ReplyDeleteHashbrowns served with creamy broccoli in cheese sauce and crispy oven baked tomatoes on the side.
ReplyDeletesome form of seperated soup...
ReplyDeleteoh wow traction man the food looks horrendous....haha i love the youtube link, lol i wonder how long until jamie oliver finds out. just curious, are you having many x-rays done? im a radiographer in australia and always wonder if long term patients like us or loathe us, as we generally get you to move into positions that are uncomfortable, but if you are 'lucky' enough to get taken down to the radiology department i hope that the change in scenery is a bit of entertainment :P get well soon, maybe ask for some milk to get your calcium levels up so that femur of yours hardens up
ReplyDelete<3 Sarah
hehe, you made the Australian news.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/disgusting-hospital-food-gets-a-serve-on-bingo-blog-20090918-fula.html
goodness me, what do you have indeed. I cant imagine what that combination must taste like... Are they organic tomatoes (i think not) good luck, love the bingo game. should move to twitter to keep the old brain active. Aussie lass
ReplyDeleteLove your food bingo! Here in Australia the food in Hospitals is much the same, maybe there's method in their madness, kill off all the patients to get them out quicker? Anyway, keep your chin up, whats your addy and we'll all order delivery from local restaurants for you and your cellmates, oops, I mean fellow patients. xo
ReplyDeleteBear-battered fillets of deep-sea Dory accompanied by sugar-loaf cabbage and brocolini in a sauce of blue cheese and organic cream with slow-cooked oven-roasted tomatoes drizzled with herb-infused olive oil.
ReplyDeletean attempt at a Euthanasia tool disguised as dinner?
ReplyDeleteYou are a massive tool.
ReplyDeleteLook it’s obvious that this is not intended for consumption. The components clearly consist of a DIY self sustenance pack;
ReplyDelete1. Bait - the nice shiny tomatoes
2. Capture - the glue
3. Club to death your prey the rocks of death so aptly named 'potatoe gems'
However it is not clear to me what type of prey and how you will prepare it for eating. Perhaps the NHS have some guidelines or a whitepaper on this?
Thought you might be interested in the international coverage you're getting?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/disgusting-hospital-food-gets-a-serve-on-bingo-blog-20090918-fula.html
Hello. Nurse Ratched here. I must say I have just about had enough of your petulant chit-chat decrying the beloved institution that IS - *hospital food* - you naughty man!
ReplyDeleteI eventually traced your IP to this floor - NOW I just need to keep an eye out for you blogging away as I do my rounds...AND when I catch you ... I believe some cold sponge baths may just be in order!!
[Now all you lot reading this - clear off! your just encouraging him - *taps foot impatiently and gives sternest matronly glare over glasses* ]
Sloppy broccoli au gratin and pork?
ReplyDeleteTraction man Get some Vitamin D3 5000iu from iherb.com and get them down you at least one of two a day for the rest of your hospital stay You will recover much faster and you will boost your immune system and beat the bugs. Plus you wont get the dreaded swine flu either
ReplyDeleteWab666 to get $5 dollars off.
Keep up the good work sunshine. Your cullinary surprises are worthy journo fodder.
ReplyDeleteDug From Down Under
Oh, you poor fellow. I had a few weeks in hospital when each of my children were born and I also refused to eat hospital food. Seems to be a global phenomenon, lol ! It's reprehensible that hospitals don't understand the links between good nutrition and patient recovery.
ReplyDeleteMy father very kindly rang and took my food order before coming to see me each day. I've never been so grateful to him as I was at that time.
Hope your recovery speeds up (despite lack of nutrition !).
Bel, Sydney, Australia.
The person who suggested posting your address was onto something. If you do that we can order food for you - post up a mealtime wishlist !!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Can't give out my address or else chef will
ReplyDeletebe up here with a meat cleaver before I can bite into my next lump of wallpaper paste. Really kind thought. Making people laugh is my favourite medicine and that will keep me going.
broccoli vomit, tomatoes (which actually look half ok), and some kind of unidentified object - i would assume meat.
ReplyDeleteMeat? Nope! Haven't seen any of that.
ReplyDeleteNo one should ever do that to broccoli...
ReplyDeleteYes, just found you via the article in the Sydney Morning Herald!
ReplyDeletePoor sod, hope you get better soon and great blog, congrats on the work.
Best wishes for a speedy convalescence!
Yep! Front page again: http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/disgusting-hospital-food-gets-a-serve-on-bingo-blog-20090918-fula.html
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about the idea of a reality TV show based on the food you're getting? You could have a winner there - the contestant could guess what is in the food. Of course NHS employees would not be allowed to enter. The main prize could be to spend 12 months in a hospital eating that crap.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you expect?!? You are in a HOSPITAL, not a five-star bleeding restaurant. You whining pratt!!
ReplyDeletehmm Cream broccoli, grilled tomatoes and tempura fish?
ReplyDeleteI know it's not a five star hotel. I'm in here for a bad leg not brain damage. Now push off back to bed and try getting out the right side. Lots of love TA
ReplyDeleteHey Traction Man,
ReplyDeleteMichelle from ABC Radio in Australia again... not sure if I actually posted my last comment. I'm hoping to talk to you on Hair of the Blog, on ABC Radio in Darwin, Australia (see link)
I know it's important not to spell out where you are... what if I give you my number so you don't have to reveal identity / location? Or you could text... anyway, I'm still super keen for a 5-minute phone chat - cheers
+61 423 305 332
Great idea to start a blog, at least it will pass some time for you! Although Im sure wont even come close to killing the boredom.
ReplyDeletegood luck Traction Man! Get well soon!
xxx
E from Australia
Another post from the antipodes. Although it pains me to say this after the recent Ashes series, good luck, and hope you do not have to keep up this great blog for too much longer.
ReplyDeleteIt is a hospital. Not the Hilton. The kitchens have to supply meals for all types of dietary requirements. Diabetics, renal failure, heart problems etc. They do the best they can. Families can help with special stuff. It is very hard for a hospital kitchen do cope with the individual requirements of each patient. That is why the food is bland.
ReplyDeleteRead about you from an Aust newspaper (http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/disgusting-hospital-food-gets-a-serve-on-bingo-blog-20090918-fula.html). I simpathise with you as i have just recently been hospitalised though only for a relative short time.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can ask for the NHS guy to visit you on Nov 7th if you are still there, maybe even join you for lunch.
Hope things look up for you soon.
brocolli with white (or cheese) sauce with tomato and fish
ReplyDelete... and what was wrong with it - you didn't say!
ReplyDeletelooked OK to me
ReplyDeleteSee, here's your main problem, you're ignorant of modern western medical treatments...
ReplyDeleteThis is not food, it's Art Therapy.
Cheers from Canberra xx
After all English is not well regarded for its cuisine. Moreover you are in the hospital not 5 star hotel so what do you expect. Hospital food is known to be crapped in any countries. Get well and get out of the hospital!!
ReplyDeleteOh My God - its some kind of biopsy specimen?
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, you can't expect to get better without proper food? Have you checked nearby restaurants to see if they deliver?
Aha so there is one place Gordon Ramsey hasn't done a TV show yet.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, thanks for the chuckle :)
Me x
Newcastle, Australia.
Thats Creamed Broccolli, Lightly-Grilled Tomatoes and Spam Fritters. Mmmm Spam Fritters, takes me back to the 1940's.... do they still taste like rubber bands? Get well soon (although if you have to eat that stuff you wont!)
ReplyDeleteBrocolli with pre-chewed vomit side of tomatos and some tastes like chicken
ReplyDeleteHello Traction Man
ReplyDeleteJust heard you talking on ABC Radio in Perth, Western Australia.
It must be awful being in traction and having to put up with NHS food.
Your talk made me realise how much most of us don't appreciate our health. Being able to go for a walk is something we take for granted. Even doing house work which I'm avoiding is a bonus!
It's been raining a lot here in Perth this September. Believe it or not there is just as much rain in Perth as in England but it tends to all come down in one short season and then there is no rain at all for weeks.
However, apparently this Spring is the wettest since 1915 and so far i has rained every day in September except for one. Sounds just like England (where I'm from originally).
Best wishes for your recovery.
Hope you get someone to come in apart from your family to bring you some decent food.
There is a book in the making here.
ReplyDeleteOr a Jamie Oliver rescue mission for hospital patients.
I have just heard your radio interview while I was sitting in my car overlooking the ocean in Mindarie. I left the UK NHS (I am a nurse) many years ago and I am now working in the health service here. I have to admit that although I miss my family in the UK I dont miss the NHS. I can see that the food is as bad now as it was then, It is a disgrace that many patients leave hospital undernourished. The food in my hospital is not great but they do supply well balanced meals( they dont always look appetizing though). I hope you recovery goes well and that you may soon be back home with your family. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteThat does look hideous!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what it possibly tasted like and that potato thing really doesn't look right at all.
This brings to mind an old saying
ReplyDelete"Who called the cook a bastard ?"
"Who called the bastard a cook !"
I have one word for you mate Emigrate !
Having spent 2 months in hospital a couple of years ago, what people don't realize is that meals become the highlight of your extremely boring day.
Here in the land of Oz the hospital meals are a far bit better though bland, nowhere near like the drek you are being fed. You should try being diabetic, they interpret this as no sugar but heaps of healthy white rice and other high carb food that you would never eat yourself but if you don't eat it ya starve. At least you are in hospital do they know how to treat malnutrition ?
hope you survive.
If you don't like the food at the hospital... maybe you should have thought about that before you got sick.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, i'm sure hospital staff could be doing more important things (i.e. saving lives) than cooking you gourmet meals.
Hospital budgets are strung out enough as it is, and you have the nerve to whine about the food they serve you.
Talk about having one's cake and eating it too...
I love your blog! I hate the NHS, I hope the nurses are nicer thean any of the ones i have ever met...usually overweight and lazy and always miserable! Get well soon! x
ReplyDeleteI think you need a big hug, a bottle of champagne and a serious amount of entertainment to take your mind off the NHS!
ReplyDeleteClearly it's broccoli in cheese sauce with a serving of lightly crumbed chicken and grilled tomatoes.
ReplyDeleteYummy!
@Steven Hutchinson Would you accept counterfeit and out of date drugs from your doctor? Why should I accept food that isn't of sufficient quality to heal my bones.?Try laying on your back for 22 weeks and see how you feel. Now go away and take a happy pill and try to be a slightly nicer human being!
ReplyDeletePerhaps you need a disclaimer on here...
ReplyDeleteNo the NHS isn't free.
Yes I appreciate the medical care.
Yes I will really try not to get struck down by a bacterium than loves feasting on me innards again, I realise that was indeed selfish of me.
No I am not whining , I am in fact poking fun in a satirical way. If you cannot understand the difference then please come back when you have grown a brain cell, and a personality.
etc etc
Love the blog, hope you get well soon. I cannot believe the people who tell you to stop moaning, they have obviously not had to endure the slop that you get served. My Dad has been in for 8 weeks and then out for two and back for 8. First hospital was terrible he lost 12 kilos, we ended up cooking food and taking it in. Fortunately where he is now is reasonable. I don't think you are looking for gourmet - edible would do.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for a speedy recovery.
@variola i just love your comments.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work..!!
XoXO
Karin
I was in hospital for 6 weeks and lived on salad the whole time. This has two advantages, a) its easily identifiable and b) it earns you extra brownie points with the healthy eating bods who think you always live like this.
ReplyDeleteGet well soon xxx
OMG!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy single stay in hospital served me up an orange as my "meal" before I was allowed home. Seeing what else I could have been given I am relieved that they let me out quickly!!!!!!
From what I can gather, you have been treated for six months by the NHS in hospital AND fed by them. Have they sent you a bill? Have you paid for this at all? It strikes me that in your whole life you will never contribute half the taxes that this stay has cost the country, so if I were you, I'd try and find some gratitude and shut up the whining complaints.
ReplyDeleteOnes and Zeros,
ReplyDeleteHave you investigated whether the NHS do a personality transplant yet?
If not, local colleges usually run courses in reading comprehension, I would enrol in one if I was you. You will get taught to read what bloggers have previously put in their comments then, and it stops you making a prat of yourself publicly, although you do appear to be adept at it.
@Karin-thankyou! I can't beat your go at the bingo though, brilliant! :-)
Hmmm. I would say Gherkins in Cheese Sauce, manky tomatoes and some sort of flat thing made of sand. Looks vile anyway!
ReplyDeleteWow! It's really amazing how some posters here have had their humour nerves extracted and replaced with their colons!
ReplyDeleteKeep typing Traction Man!
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
My god, I cannot believe the negative comments from you whiners to Mr Blog Man, he's enduring it, not you lot...shurrrupppp!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am utterly amazed at the amount of people having a go at Traction Man! The guy is in hospital through no fault of his own. He has been a tax payer and is NOT, repeat NOT complaining about the quality of medical care he is receiving. A rare thing in todays society and hospitals!
ReplyDeleteFor those complaining, have you ever needed to be hospitalised? Worse, for a long time and be incapacitated the way TM is? It is not funny at all and if all he is complaining about is the food then I think the hospital he is in should consider themselves to be fabulous!
I wonder how the hospital would cope with someone with special dietary needs? Coeliac or food allergies? Would it cope? Could it provide the food needed? I have my doubts!
I have been a patient and I have seen how food arrives on wards. Worse, I have seen how patients have been left to attempt to eat it themselves when they are clearly unable to do so!
Go Traction Man! Keep up the good work in bringing hospital based nutrition to the forefront! This is a very serious subject. See todays report about care homes in Scotland! People NEED nutrients in order to heal and stay well!
Do you need the number of a decent take away that delivers?
Love the blog!
I hope you will reveal where you have been staying TM, when you eventually get out that is !
ReplyDeleteMy guess is the RUH ...
Get well soon !
Don't knock the catering staff - at least they're saving money by recycling all the offcuts from the operating theatre. Yum!
ReplyDeleteOnes and Zeros on the Interweb:
ReplyDeleteYou are missing the point! a) It's humorous b)How much he has contributed doesn't matter. I have been paying taxes all my life (now at the higher rate) and - thankfully - have not spent more than a total of a couple of days in hospital when giving birth - in my case without the need for expensive treatment. So I am massively in 'credit' re the NHS, but I still got the same slop! c) As the food is inedible, there is huge wastage. Significantly, the better hospital food website has a document on waste management on its *front page*. That's your and my tax pounds going into landfill - they can't even feed it to pigs anymore. As with school meals and hospital cleaning, outsourcing this to private and centralized contractors means that low cost (for the NHS) and maximized profit (for the supplier) is the major motive, resulting in a non-competitive market where the actual customers (the patients) being at one remove, are unable to exercise the sort of choice which controls any free market. BTW Traction Man - I am shocked that you have to pay for broadband. An organisation the size of the NHS should be able to negotiate a pretty good deal where actual bandwidth usage cost is negligable. They are either incompetant (this would be no surprise as most public IT procurements are a disaster) or they are trying to recoup costs in the same way over the odds telephone charges, hospital parking etc. Would someone please rid the NHS of these middle management bean counters who know the cost of everything and the value of nothing, and replace them with medical staff?
i think it's made of blandness and hate
ReplyDeleteOnes & Zeros
ReplyDeleteWould it help if I forwarded you the address of a good therapist?
Reminds m of a scene from the remake of 'The Fly' a few years ago, when the scientist (Geoff Goldblum) has had the unfortunate mutation with a fly and is slowly becoming one. He spots a doughnut and vomits on it before he can ingest it... looks like someone in your hospital's catering department has a genetic mutation...........
ReplyDeleteYour dinner looked entirely edible for rat's whom in theory we are genetically linked to. Does this mean we will eat the same food?
ReplyDeleteI am currently wondering if the NHS are possibly making 'us' patients eat such food, because a large portion of the population are overweight. Is this a way of making people lose weight in a discrete way?
Looking forward to this evenings meal, though maybe you should order a 2nd breakfast?
Ax
Fantatstic, can I have some please? I'm stuck in the desert in the middle east and trust me that looks good compared to some of the food items I have been served of late. Anyway, I'll go for Champignons verts en sauce à fromage, les tomates aplaties ont fait cuire en pétrole brut,la partie latérale de la mise à mort de route de poulet, étant cuit à la friteuse dans le sperme congelé du laboratoire.
ReplyDeleteBe strong Traction Man, we're all thinking of you here on the outside. I can sympathize wholeheartedly. I spent some time in hospital a while ago and was fed stock cube soup and black tea (both tepid) three meals a day "just until your digestive system is working properly again". It remains a mystery to this day how my digestive system was going to start up on that diet!
ReplyDeleteAnyway sunshine, great blog and keep smiling :) Your a hit in Oz XOXOX
Just found this on the better_hospital_food website with the 'breaking the mould meal example'.
ReplyDeletehttp://195.92.246.148/nhsestates/better_hospital_food/bhf_downloads/breaking_the_mould.jpg
And this is an improvement? It just looks ghastly. I think the petrified grey mushrooms look particularly nasty - not to mention the playdough type inidentifiable protein products.
Hi Traction Man...Following you from the left coast of the Americas!
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what you are doing...keep up that sense of humor and don't let the whiny you should be grateful posters get to you!
Get well soon and God Bless!
Helen in California
I can't believe anybody would have a problem with you having a donate button - it's not as though they HAVE to donate!! And anybody with one brain cell knows that when you're in hospital and not earning, every penny you can get counts!
ReplyDeleteAlternatives to Adsense can be found here: http://www.rosswalker.co.uk/adsense_top10/
I hope you get well again soon Traction Man - although I will miss you as you have kept me company for some very long days at work!
Toni
My name is Jem and I am a traction man-aholic
ReplyDeleteThe tomatoes are obvious, having worked in hospitals for a while the 'staple' brocolli cheese / brocolli in white sauce seems obvious.
ReplyDeleteThe other things i have no idea, i would hazzar,d a guess at deep-fried ears.... which, if you're prepared to turn to cannabilism by now may be a preferred option.
Just a quick P.S: I did lose 10kilos in that week....which is a good thing right?
ReplyDeleteJust think of how slim and fit(?) your getting Traction Man, there's always an upside lol.
@Ginia:
ReplyDeleteTM's a fairly slim chap anyway - he'll waste away to nothing without proper sustenance!
And a down side....or a number of them in this case.
ReplyDeleteDo you have the green ladies and their lolly trolley's over there? Thats how I got my digestive system working again - I cheated :D
For those who say that Traction Man should be grateful for something that looks like wallpaper paste as his dinner because he hasn't paid for his treatment- yes of course he has paid. What on earth do you think Taxes and NI are for? What's more, NHS patients are suffering malnutrition. I was in hospital once for three days and lost half a stone. Do you think that should be applauded? When my Mum was undergoing radiotherapy for cancer, she would have starved if I hadn't taken her in food. So thousands of pounds of treatment would have been wasted because of c**p food. How sensible is that? What's more, it wouldn't surprise me if the medics are cheering him on as well since they have to eat this muck too. Do stop and think before you put up silly spiteful comments.
ReplyDeleteThey cannot even give you a meat product no matter how gross it may be?
ReplyDeleteI think the lack of any meat products may be a bit of a blessing really. You'd never know what you were getting; roadkill, failed lab experiments. Could be nasty, I'd stick with vegetable matter if I were you.
ReplyDeleteBroccoli covered in cheese sauce and maybe hash browns?
ReplyDeleteJust read about this blog in the German news.
ReplyDeleteIt's hilarious! Hope you'll get better soon.
WTF is that...superb blog my man...no wonder it's going viral...best wishes for your speedy recovery :-)
ReplyDeleteFrom densnaps
ReplyDeleteSorry dont know how to not be anon....
I'm not a negative Anon poster tho. I totally agree with TM, Had a ten day visit for radical prostectomy Started good on admitance waited from miday till 7 in evening to get a bed by which time food had long since gone away however nursing staff managed to rustle up some edible sarnies.
The following tendays were interesting
very impressed with the offered menu nicely printed options its a shame the written word bore no relad up on the plate.i was luckly being able after a few days mobile enough to toddle down to the shopping area where tasty food was available.
After a Short time back at home I had to go back for a short planned stay. once again I had a long wait for a bed , As it was occupied. When I took possesion I inherited the previous occupiers meal choice.He was on the outside actually "inside" A guest of her majesty's Preston Prison service.
It turned out He had ordered every thing so I was able to "enjoy" a fairly decent meal from the selection. From these two periods very short compared to your Incaseration TM at least 75% of the food offered was inedible and returned Terrible waste,edible items were Fruit or fresh Orange juice. I dont understand why if I went down to the hospital cafe in the foyer I could get an edible meal this of course was for healthy vistors. the sick were fed cooling slop???
Like you TM I have worked all my life and paid all Taxes and NI contributions this was only my third Hospital Visit. 30 Years ago a Week in Hastings Hospital the Food was great. Really Enjoy your Blog Keep it up and ignore the Detractors I know in some Hospitals abroad You have to provide your own domestic care including food but you know that before you go 9in.
A few years Ago my wife ended up in hospital in Southern Spain The food was great Provided by outsde caterers as in the local restuant you got the menu and it arrived HOT and enjoyable.....Okay catering on a smaller scale but.....
Son is chef in the army, numbers there are in the same proportions to Hospital and facilities not quite as good in the Sandy climes ,the food if not up to scratch is "Remarked upon" you dont upset a bunch of squaddies either by serving poor quality or repeating the same old stuff
All the best TM get well soon
Cheese with Broccoli :-), some sort of potato puffer - rösti - Kartoffelpuffer or so, ... That actually looks ok... did you taste it?
ReplyDeleteThis is SAD, really SAD! If you weren't sick already, you'd GET sick with this food ...
ReplyDeleteMy friend had elective surgery in a public hospital in Milan, Italy and he had to provide his own toilet paper. He was even interrogated by the cleaner as to where his toilet paper had come from!! We thought it was very funny, but Gaetano was terrified of having it stolen while he slept!
ReplyDeleteIn that case I feel blessed. Remind me not to get sick in Milan. Where are all you Italian bloggers? Rise up! We're on a roll. That's a blog roll and not a bog roll, by the way!
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