Scrumptious! How did they manage to harvest such a very large quantity of baby vomit?
Wow that looks Yummy!!!!!! (I don't think)Have they really given you macaroni cheese and chips???This is my first visit to your site ... so funny and yet sadly so true xx
OMG!!! What sort of animal would put lumpy custard with chips of dubious character!!!
Carbs with carbs - they must have you on the Snikta diet.
Disgusting!! You poor man.
is it what comes out of a waste disposal?
Is that supposed to be macaroni cheese with chips? However I am stumped by the green brocolli like blob. I feel sorry you are being tortured in the most heinous way possible. I believe kind citizens in your area should volunteer to bring you decent food. No one should be subjected to the above.
Chips with conchiglie pasta in carbonara sauce with bacon pieces
ChipsMacaronipotato bitsmushrooms (one, judging by the thickness of each slice)B&Q's finest wallpaper papUnless they call it "Macaronis, pommes de terre et champignon à la sauce béchamelle avec pommes frites"...
OMG....this took my breath away...is this the 'after' photo..it looks like the result of a good saturday night out, 3.30am on the pavement outside the local kebab shop!!!..
Well the chips are an easy one..Hmmmm do I spot a mushroom thing going on with the pasta there? If so it might be pasta carbonara, or just plain mushroom pasta. I seem to see a green blob of stuff hiding under the past at the side...unless it is more tinged pasta. It looks like streaks of dried snot.... but I am plumping for cauliflower. The photo is like a magic eye picture.... after a while of staring at it... you can see all aorts of possible food items in there.
Eureka ! It's the goo out of the radiator hose of my 1986 Volkswagen Jetta probably smells and tastes the same also.
Heard about your plight on Perth (western Australia) radio. May God grant you a great deal of patience as you recover. Also, ever thought of flicking off an email to Jamie Oliver - he turned around school dinners - maybe he could do the same for British Hospital meals! All the best! Tash
I'm with variola on the chips part.And i can also see 1 mushroom.But i also see pasta shells and something green.That might actually be something like leek (i think..) it can't be pasta carbonara as it has bacon in it. Well it could be the vegetarian version. LOLBut even if it's pasta why in the world (replaced the @#$# word) would you serve pasta with chips..???I've seen pig food looking better.Actually when i worked at mcdonalds the fries and burgers we had to throw away, was made into pig food. So they actually have it better than you. As i would rather eat cold and day old mcdonald than that.XOXOKarin
i also posted a link to your blog on mine.Together with a post on your blog.http://t-p-o-g.blogspot.com/XoXoKarinps Variola was on to something with the weird word contest.
Looks like a mushroom macaroni cheesy kind of deal. The green thing lurking near the chips; is that a brussel sprout? Or perhaps some of the remains of that handsome looking broccoli fare you had for supper last night?
LOL Karin!!Yeah carbonara has bacon or ham in it, but I figured that being the NHS the bits would be so minute they wouldn't show up on cam! I wondered on the leeks thing too....Yep weird words.. this one is feurnest... a shortened version of femur nest... a common word for traction I think! :-D
Hey, just read about you on the BBC news web site and just had to come and have a look!Get well soon and hoppe the food improves!
On you go Action Man - oops "Traction Man". Are you sure you are not selecting the most disgusting looking thing on the menu for us to look at!!! Next time you should select the fillet steak and button mushrooms from the menu. How about a friend bringing you in some blackcurrant cordial (aka red wine) in a tupperware box for you to drink with the fillet steak. Enjoy!
Honestly, thank you so much for cheering up my week, I haven't laughed so much since my last fawlty towers rerun. I don't usually laugh at anothers misfortune and really that slop they laughingly call meals over there is enough to make me cry for you not laugh with you! sending you smiles and sunshine from oz I just wish the lovely freshly caught fish and salad im having could accompany them keep smiling ozjo xoxo
I don't know what it is but it looks distinctly slithery to me. I never but never eat anything that is slithery.
@variola..good thinking about the NHS and minute pieces that don't show up on camera.It would explain alot of meals on the bingo.LOLI'm going to keep a list of the weird words from now on.But the femur nest had me cracking up.XoXoKarin
lovely, just what you need when in training, lots of long acting carbs and no veg,hope it tasted better than it looked! Knowing hospital menus it probaby had a fancy name, little taste, no condiments and arrived luke warm on a plastic tray when you didn't want it. That is always presuming you weren't off having "tests" when dinner came round in which case it would have been stone cold with a skin on top! send out for take away most the nurses will.....
Truly frightening. Could be the star of a horror movie from the 50s.
Yuck!Get better real quick and yes, do come and visit Oz. You'll love it here.
my guess is chips with macaroni in some kind of attempt at a white saucei almost wonder whether your recovery is being slowed down by malnutrition!!!a friend of mine posted a link to your blog to me on facebook, thinking it would amuse me (i'm a medical student in Sydney, Australia)... any chance your doctors could write a script for "real food 3x daily"?best wishes for your recovery
Just out of curiosity, are you really working in a creche and are just too shy to admit it? Hope you are up and about soon, my heartfelt sympathies - I used to haobble down to the vending machine and buy "garage type ham sandwiches"!! Take care Z
I spent a few weeks in hospital last year for a perforated stomach ulcer. Couldn't eat. But the stuff sucked out of my gut through my nose had a remarkable resemblance to many of these dishes.Get well sooner, Traction Man.
Traction Man, a thought has been ruminating in my mind with regards to the frequent comparisons of your 'meals' (used loosely) and wallpaper paste. I have come to the startling conclusion that what is being served to you may in fact be wallpapeer paste mixed to different consistencies, shaped and strategically painted with food dye! Pictures may be deceiving, so I ask firstly: Does this seem a feasible possibility to you? Having the real article to examine. And secondly: Have you noticed any recent advertising regarding a local hardware attempting to off load a bulk supply of same?I think I may be onto something here, what do you think?
I don't know how you're going to manage to eat that?!?!! ...and keep it down.Yuk.
hello there many of us have seen your blog...most of us have a wry smile..as you will see we have all sampled the delights of hospital food, and although injuries healed for many of us have healed years ago, we still remember the food we had..my breakfast of rubber toast with little spread used to start the day rolling ..and it went down hill from there.http://ride-til-we-rot-nth-east.ning.com/you have the empathy of the rotters...manda national president uk co-founder worldwide. xxx
macaroni carbonara and chips?
Well I guess if you are ever unmasked the upside will be people making good on their food parcel offers!How do they manage to make even the chips look unappetising?
OMG I think Traction Man has been rumbled and chef has now got his own back and produced the worst the NHS can offer!!!!!
Is this before or after you've eaten it?
What ... we cant donate via Paypal From us Down Under it looks like something thats gone Up Over
"And the winner of the 2010 Turner Prize for modern art is........'Food Bingo: My Life in 50 Dishes' by Traction Man."Worth a thought, I reckon you'd be a shoe-in.
Sick and chips - perfect Friday fare
Is that supposed to be some sort of pasta and french fries?
Utter filth! Perhaps they are scraping the crust of your necrotising fascitis (or whatever it is) and, after adding some snot and chips, serving it back to you. That's the green agenda sorted - recycling in action!
tis a 'Technicolor yawn' dear chap, but one notes that didn't touch the chips - perhaps they were too hot?
Hi there from Germany!I just read about this blog in a big german newspaper......I couldn't believe it.Well, I'm wondering: How will you get well with this very strange food???? Do you have any secret deliveries by your hand which enter the hospital in the middle of the night? Do you get any care parcels from around the world?Anyway, I hope you get well soon :)
Hey Traction Man, so sorry to hear about your prolonged stay in hospital. I wish for you a full and speedy recovery. Just wanted to say, I hope you consider putting some sort of Google Ads or something on your site and making a few bob off the traffic you are getting while you are lying there.Cheers for now,Colleen
Haha, it still continues with new surprises! I see a green herbish thing up in the middle of the lower right quadrant.
@PK it looks like a twig of some form of herb!So nice to have lunch time lotto as well as evening meal lotto now.Guessing breakfast might appear soon???Keep blogging traction man. We need more satirical observations of someone stuck with nowhere to go. Ax
That is definitely macaroni or tripe with gobs of mayo.You want fries with that?
Dear Traction Man, I'm loving your blog and wish you a speedy recovery to full health.Your blog has reminded me of the horrors I witnessed when I worked in a hospital during my college years, bringing and clearing away patients meals on the weekends. The smell and taste of the food was indeed disgusting. I did also dare to taste a spare dinner one evening and a half teaspoon was enough to confirm what the visuals were hinting at.Anonymous ozzie medical student above was asking if your doctor could write you a Rx for something healthier. I kid you not, in the course of my work I met many patients whose doctors had written them a Rx for fruit, salads, yogurts, plain fish and veg (no sauce).I also visited the hospital kitchen the odd time and saw how food was "prepared". This included cooking poor quality ingredients until they were twice dead, cooling, refridgerating, then reheating the next day and the day after. However, your situation could be worse.a. You could be in the ICU and be life-or-death needing high quality nutrition and be eating this slop after a car crash, open heart surgery etcb. You could be on a pureed diet and being served three icecream scoops of food, three times daily - one brown (pureed sausage), one green green (pureed peas), one white (pureed potatoes). Many a look of despair I saw on a patient's face when I lifted the cover off their plate for the first time.c. While the food you are getting is unacceptable, you at least have the choice to eat it, although I can understand why you are choosing to pass. Many elderly patients sitting up to eat their hospital dinners tonight will not be able to eat them and stay hungry overnight and into the next day, because they can no longer hold cutlery, lift a cup to their mouths unaided, or eat quickly enough before their plate is whipped away again.We live in a dreadful world sometimes.All the best,Sinead
My first visit. Seems to me it's only truly worthwhile if you can make a fair go of trying to identify the whole thing, lock-stock-and-barrel. And I can't. Chips (easy)and goo doesn't seem to cover it adequately (well, the goo does, but you know what I mean). Hope this doesn't label me a weirdo but, uncannily perhaps, I've spotted what is surely the image of a whale's eye on one of the chips. This, no doubt, marks my lack of piety; otherwise I may well have 'seen' an image of Our Lord or the Virgin.
Not much better than plane food it looks like
Hi Traction Man, heard about your blog on 612ABC Brisbane today and have been looking forward to reading it. As far as your meal goes is it Tuna Mornay but I cant work out what the green bits are, asparagus? You poor thing that really looks disgusting.
It's late at night here in Oz and maybe my eyes are groggy, but when I was looking at your plate of food, just for a moment I thought I saw something move amongst the whitish stuff on your plate.
Hi Traction Man!I thought perhaps it was an attempt at a tuna and macaroni cheese dish with chips.It looks totally unfit for human (or animal) consumption. You poor soul!I must say when I spent quite some time in a private Perth (W. Aust) hospital the food was edible and attractive. When my partner was in a public hospital this year, the food was atrocious with a weird aroma. Never got the right order, either. Can you hijack a wheel chair and escape to the nearest pub for decent food? wendy
Looks like something that should be really kept in the sluice room! I work in a hospital and the food is no where near as bad as that!
Defo pasta with a cheese sauce and cold chips! I feel for you! I am amazed you still have the energy to blog with that for sustenance! Keep up the good work!
My wife doesn't want me to show her the pictures :-)
your avid readers could always plan a "red-cross" food parcel or create a rescue plan if we knew where you are - however he anonymity is part of the fun of this blog - what is quite unbelieveble is that there are other patients eating this (or maybe you have upset one of the kitchen staff and are being personally persecuted?) - this really isn't food - it was once upon a time - before an out of work builder or mechanic got to do things to it - this kitchen needs help and fast, like employing a chef for a start then buying a cook book !
euh alorsdiced potato that sum1 has already vomitedunidentifiable gray blobsand chips ewwwww you poor poor man!!! Li
Wot no peas ?
Sssshhhh!! Don't keep mentioning the green bit - they'll rush over and take it away!!!! :)
T-man...Wow that looks.....uummmm....delicious? Seriously, if I could I would send you some real food all the way from Colombia! But for the time being your blog is a wonderful....congratulations on your success! I've read about you everywhere.....Cheers,D
The golden brownish things are french fries? The do however look better than Kentucky Fried Chicken's fries, hopefully they also taste better. The other stuff is really difficult, possibly pasta shells with canned mushrooms in a questionable white sauce (could they have just poured cream of mushroom soup over cooked pasta shells?)This morning a local radio station (QR77) and newspaper (The Calgary Herald) talked/wrote about you! International star you are!Get well so you can continue to write, love your style.Libby
It's leek and mushroom pasta with gloop sauce and 'chipped' potatoes. I assume they're chipped because someone dropped them on the kitchen floor. Anyway, trust me when I say they were as dry as a camel's arse... and about as tasty. Don't know what the pasta was like as I couldn't get it to stay on the fork.
I just threw up in my mouth.
Really? Well send it down to the kitchen. They'll use it tomorrow!
You are a very brave man if you ate that,good to see you have kept your humour,thanks for the laughs ,get well soon
Oh so many wonderful guesses. Truly I am stumped. The number of edible critters in this world is so vast ranging from ants to zebras that NHS food choice is only limited by shipping costs. Do you have rattlesnakes in England?But enough of your gourmet selections. I think we should turn our thoughts to what wine would go best with such fare. I'm thinking a lovely fruit punch koolaid and distilled homemade corn mash aged in vintage radiators for 3 days then poured into unrinsed milk cartons and allowed to ferment in bottle for 2 hours. Serve very cold with orange slices.Paula
The fries look kinda decent, but the rest.... do I see mushrooms? It actually reminds me of my dog's puke, white with some sort of unidentifiable pieces.Yuckkk
Apart from the iffy preparation of the food, how in the world would any cook ever come up with such a menu? Combine french fries and pasta? With no vegetables and meat/fish?Who is cooking (can you call it that?) in that hospital?Engish food doesn't have the best reputation, but this certainly beats everything...Stay strong ;)greetings from Switzerland
The green stuff is mould - it saves on penicillin when you get mrsa, c diff and all the other crap you get whilst in hospital.
G'day Traction Man, I live west of Sydney in the Blue Mountains and visited your fair shores in April when my daughter married a wrestler in Rugby. Impression after 6 weeks: English have an amazing, inherent collective wit, wonderfully hospitable, very welcoming, always update recently purchased satnavs, couldn't wait to eat proper food again. Appears that the worst of English culninary practice has been channelled into the public hospital system. You have my deepest sympathies. Get well soon. Greg
Lets make a movie about this
FAB! we're featuring this regularly on our breakfast show.. hope you dont mind, and we really hope you dont have to suffer this much longer!!
I see the dried chips but that other stuff looks like a slush puppy !
My husband just took a peek at your lunch.He was slightly puzzled when I explained you were getting this in the hospital as food.His words were "ahaan maa" Dog food LOL
Wow... well that's... special. Looks like something we found at the bottom of the fridge in my student corridor last year. I reckon you could probably culture some really cool stuff in that. Extremophile bacteria and such :)Sending virtual steak your way. Would send you something real but I imagine it would probably be soggy by the time it got there from Sweden (or frozen).
This is the worst of the lot. If you weren't feeling ill already, one look at this would have you reaching for the sick bowl. I can't bear to look at the picture too long; it really turns my stomach. I do hope you get well soon; no-one should have to see this. But at least I don't have to smell it as well - you have my sympathies.
OMG.....I doubt my dogs would even eat that
my mom give me this tipe of food all the time ¬¬
Please, please, please save me some!!! :P lol
It looks better than the food you must have to eat if you were here in El Salvador... xD
Desde Colombia, se ve que te tratan mal, espero mejores pronto Camilo
ESPERO QUE TU COMIDA MEJORE PRONTO.. PERO HAY UN DICHO QUE DICE MAL DE MUCHOS CONSUELO DE TONTOS... DEBERIAS DE VER LA COMIDA DE LOS HOSPITALES PUBLICOS ACA EN MI PAIS ECUADOR JAJAJA ESO SI ES DE PENA, TAL VEZ TE HAGA SENTIR AFORTUNADO :-)
Oh my God!!You're meal looks good, in the hospitals of my country are terrible and disgustings meals :Pok... Have good-look and be better soonregardas from Guatemala
What I am learning from writing this blog is that hospital food around the world is bad. Good nutrition heals bodies. Good food is as important as good medicine. More work needs to be done to raise awareness.
realmente interesante!!! me gusto mucho el blog!!! adelante!!! VAMOS POR MAS!!! =)
MMMM yummy!, ha ha, just kidding, i wish for you a fast recovery. Cheers from Cancun México :)Get Well soon Rey Castillo
What hell??? You are kill me, this are food, is a jocke or not. See bullshi... in the plate i dont believe it.I write a little english LoLSee you later bye ATTE: JoeGp12
woaw!! I always wanted this. It`s my dreems becoming true. Please send me this. It is Aligunia from Mars with Sugirina sauce at vapor... exclusive cuisine from Venus