Hey, that don't look too bad, actually. Makes me feel a bit peckish. I wonder if there's any of those sardines left in the fridge from Saturday lunchtime...
Pudding looks not much unlike a pastabake thats been burnt and covered in custard
Fishcake which is mostly potato, baked beans which are artificially too red, and a real potato ( shock horror)Some kind of powder based custard and some kind of over dehydrated sponge pudding thats slightly burnt on topYou know we would get you eating properly if we had access to you.Keep the faith TM
I think I saw some sort of Vision in the Custard
The catering at my hospital has recently been contracted out to a certain megacorp, and the service has gone from reasonable(-ish) to downright dreadful. We have the WWII generation on our (understaffed) elderly care wards, and we are serving them food that is - quite literally - cheap as chips. I fcuking despair, but I suspect that the shareholders are happy. Keep on keeping on. If Mandy is out for you, he'll do it with rat poison. Watch out for them serving you something really nice, with a side order of warfarin. :)Keep on keeping onlost_nurse
That fishcake wasn't too bad. If they'd put some fish in it I reckon it would have been good enough for Masterchef.
The 'pud' looks like Craggy Island covered in toxic waste, and the carbo-fest for the main dish makes me wonder if they're worried that red meat and leafy greens might make you too frisky for your own good, and you'd start groping the nurses.Does your tea taste funny? Well, I know it does, but my thoughts are turning to bromide...Keep up the good work!
I really must stop reading your blog at mealtimes. It's put me right off my toasted tuna mayonnaise sandwich. Ugh, I feel sick now- but I may still be hungover from Saturday night.
Have you tried asking for a minority menu?Perhaps the kosher or halal dishes are more appetising [tongue in cheek].Can't you claim you have a rare religious allegiance that restricts your diet to steak and nourishing food cooked in accordance with certain rites (e.g. properly cooked).
Our doctor Annika Dahlqvist in Sweden - LCHF (Low Carb High Fat)Link:http://blogg.passagen.se/dahlqvistannika/
A fishcake?! How disappointing. And there was me thinking that it might be deep-fried camembert, ready to melt all over the baked potato. Sigh.
Oh it was a fishcake? I thought it was a ginger biscuit. I wondered what it was doing there with a potato and baked beans. (Baked beans - just what you want when you're lying flat on your back all the time.) Shouldn't fishcakes be a bit fatter than that? But a baked potato without butter - it just ain't baked potato. Cheese is good with it, too. As for the pudding ... what is it?
It was a fish-flavoured fishcake. No real fish were harmed in the making of this food item.
The dessert was sticky axle-grease pudding with Hollandaise sauce
I'm not a dessert fan but I had apple crumble and custard one day out of curiosity a few weeks ago when I was a patient. It was odd. There was no crumble, just some submerged apples, which were actually ok. Plenty of custard but it wasn't sweet. It was under the healthy eating bit on the menu card. there are 3 headings - High protein, soft food and healthy eating. Bread and butter pudding comes under high protein. Is that correct? Oh and I once got a salad. Cottage cheese to be precise. Half a dineer plate with plain cottage cheese, a halved tomato, two lettuce leaves and a lump of weeping cucumber. It was the most boring thing I'd ever seen.Some people opted for the packed lunch. This consisted of a pack of the dryest sandwiches known to man. They couldn't be swallowed without copious amounts of (lukewarm) liquid. There was a lso what looked like a yogur pot with a foil top which was allegedly fresh orange juice. I'm afraid that THAT had never seen an orange - ever! A lukewarm yogurt and a tired looking wrinkled golden delicious blandapple completed the box. Once tried, you would never take it again.I think a lot of folk don't realise that a patient actually looks forward to a meal as it breaks the monotony. I couldn't get over the constant optimism and the crashing disappointment that was inevitable. I really feel for you Traction man
I think they've lumbered you mate. That nosh looks almost edible. BTW I'd love to send you the link but I don't think it would be good for your health. There's a viral vid kicking around of a black geezer who's been injecting silicon into his you-know-what for the past 6 years. The complete tackle is the size of a bowling-ball. I kid you not. If you really want to laugh yourself sick - or sicker in your case - Google "Insane Guy Injects Silicone Into His - - - - - for 6 years". See you mate. BTW how's the begging-bowl working out? Enough to buy you a slap-up dinner at The Ivy yet?
So I was right!! Yay
Those sort of fish cakes are an integral part of the Thai diet.Those and mystery meat ball things that are either pork,beef or fish.NO animal products in them at all and when they are sitting on the trolleys outside NO flies come near.Says something about the food LOL
I would gladly send you to a hospital in Congo. What are you complaining for when people and children die everyday for hunger and malnutrition? If you were really starving you would eat everything in your plate asking for more.
Yeah you tosser. What are you complaining about? You've got a bed haven't you? And three meals a day. And all those lovely drugs they pump into you. Young people of today have no idea how lucky they are. In my day 6 of us had to share a single bed. The loo was three streets away and we only got to eat every third day when the butcher threw some offal over the fence. You don't know how lucky you are. You malingerer you.
weeeell..not too bad today..if only a little flavour and butter had been added....so instead of slagging off the 'dog vomit' i shall just 'visit' you instead...."how are you feeling today?" "hows the old leg doing..any sign of healing?" "have they given you a leaving date yet?" "have you been 'rumbled' yet?" oh and 'screwtops' the savior of many an incarcerated man!! anyhoo got to go get some lunch now,not so bothered that all i've got is homemade bread and Lurpak..crunchy toast it is then...oh i got an egg..scrambled on toast mmm.
I vote we send frigging Giuseppe to a "hospital in Congo". All those in favour raise your hand. Or your leg. Or just wink if you can't manage the other.
I'd swear the caterers at your hospital also do the food for American Airlines.
@les miserable.I am not sure if you know where Congo is.I have been there many times and heard the constant cry of dying kids.But it's not your fault, is your full belly that speaks for you.I am not disputing the medical, physical and mental condition of the author of this blog and I don't think he needs you as a lawyer.
Is that two tone custard? How novel!
Just remind me again, Giuseppe... Just how high are the tax and National Insurance rates in the Congo?
The trouble is, the mental images and tastes conjured up by a menu do not match up to the awful reality of what is actually served.Yes, if I were to see "fish cake, beans and baked potato", even if it is under the healthy option, I would imagine a piping hot fish cake and crisp and golden, baked beans cuddling into it on the side of the plate all hot and fragrant, and a crunchy baked potato emitting clouds of steam when you cut it open and smother it with healthy sunflower margarine (butter would be a stretch too far) and some salt and pepper. And perhaps a little tartare for the fishcake.Alas, it was never thus and you end up with yet another meal dry as a bone and lacking not only visual and taste appeal but any serious nutritional value whatsoever. I wonder what dinner will bring. Or should I say, I wonder what dinner will bring up.
the dessert looks re-used from previous meals...the 'main' meal was cut out from a color wheel...hope you're feeling better. :) (despite all the nasty comments you've been getting. sometimes i wonder why people think its 'web-discrimination' is okay...)thanks for bringing some cheer into my daily blog readings! :D
Dear Traction Man, you shift our debate from malnutrition to politic. We live in a country where the war isn't an everyday issue. Most people live in Congo with few dollars per month. They pay taxes to our society through the exploitation of their rich underground resources for me and you to enjoy; like tantalum which is used in the fabrication of electronic components in computers and mobile phones. I did not want to offend you in any way but sometimes I wonder if we really understand how lucky we are. That's all. Regards and get well soon.
Giuseppe IThis is supposed to be a bit of fun as well as highlighting an issue about hospital nutrition. I don't think we can compare countries as diverse as Congo and UK. For one thing, one of those countries is run by a brutal dictator who has put the country into deep debt and suppressed the people. Congo's not too bad though! :-)
I don't think our mate Giuseppe does fun. In fact I don't think he'd know fun if he fell over it.
Giuseppe The IMF globalises poverty because we dump cheap food in developing countries and subject them to massive trade tariffs.I would gladly send a food parcel but those people can grow their own food Somalia used to be self sufficient till the IMF got involved in the early 70sMichel Chussodovsky is the author you need to read.
Hi Traction Man, I love your blog - very funny adn very well written. I suppose this god-awful food is just another sign of how suited pencil pushers of the state get it all wrong again when it comes to distributing funds, resources etc!!I'm just done being a college student and can cook more appetising stuff than I see on here, for tuppence out of a student cookbook!!!!Those people who criticise you don't get it - food doesn't have to be michelin 5 star to be good, ask any student. I'd like to see them send all their meals to Africa too. If they're so worried why don't they get off the internet and go do some fundraising for aid charities?I hope your recovery speeds up vastly, and keep up the good work. If you were nearby I'd cook you a ruddy good wholesome, filling meal on a budget, as a favour and just to prove it can be done by anyone with little money.Best wishes,Julia
Hello! I knew there would be a baked spud if only I waited long enough. It's the staple of the vegitarian/coeliac/awkward squad menu. Usually served with the classic burnt-but-now-cold beans or half a pound of extruded orange plastic, allegedly cheddar. Your tattie does appear to have a thumb print in it, which suggests it is, at least, cooked. Buon appetito, mate!
See what that Giuseppe has gone and done? Now Google is throwing up Public Service ads like "Microfinance Empowers - Join us in enabling the poorest of the poor to improve their own lives".You need to turn the conversation around to "How to make a million dollars online while sitting at the kitchen table in your undies". ;-)
Hope you like this posthttp://andtherewasmethinking.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/nom-nom-nom/Mummy x
Hi Traction Man,I do believe that is the first meal you've gotten (or at least posted) where it was obvious at first sight what it was.Although apparently that doesn't mean it tastes any better than weird/awful looking muck, but it's getting better (hahaha, yeah right) But the pudding still looks as disgusting as the rest of your desserts.I'm curious as to what they will serve you next. I'll be back tonight to check out your dinner. XoXoKarin(verification word: realmole, i hope they're not talking about your dinner.!!)
I never knew that shutting up and eating horrible food would end world starvation. You learn something knew everyday.I suppose murderous dictators who have bankrupted their countries and who use food (or its lack) to suppress opposition don't contribute to the problem at all. As for Traction Man, not going all Mary Poppins over the great advantage to having access to toxic sludge puzzle meals, good on him. Let the powers to be know they are not fooling anything. Gratitude, my Aunt Fanny. Let the peasants be revolting, not the food.Paula
Karin Realmole-Traction man himself!Ugh for the little luxury of a splodge of flora on the baked potato! Well it was at least recognisable, and of course allegedly nutritionally good. Makes you wonder if supper will be twice as bad to make up for it!Security word-pieterbr, the sounds made while eating that fish cake.
This meal is like reading a proper newspaper after reading some unreadable theoretical stuff.But the pudding is a three-dimensional map of France after some heavy rainfall.--Just thinking -- tons of hospital food, including meat, is thrown away due do bad quality - eating meat is more polluting than driving a car- then imagine what big savings for the planet & animals it would be if hospitals used their funds to buy fresh vegetables full of vitamins, instead of meat (more expensive, too) that people don't eat anyway.
@variolaPieterbr = Pieterburen which is a dutch seal rescue center. And i guess that the pureed fish the seals get over there is more tasty than TM's dinnerXoXo(word: Weital)karin
I bet the beans were cold and the fishcake was stone cold too. The jacket potato looks hard. Where is the butter, salt and pepper or ketchup? If only they made you something resembing this. http://www.domepico.com/menu/kumpir_monu_mini.jpg They're delicious.
The baked potato may be dry, un-crisped and butterless but do I spy upon the top of same unappetising morsel the tiny but tell-tale indentation of a caterer's thumb?
@Giuseppe - you don't get it do you? The point is that Traction Man is in hospital being served poor quality food by an NHS that he has paid for with his non-voluntary tax contributions.When people are sick they benefit greatly from positive stimuli; not just the 'obvious', ie food that is genuinely nutritious, but food that also looks, smells and TASTES good. Happy, correctly fed people heal faster, need less medication and are out of hospital sooner. If only we could make those in charge see that - unfortunately all that they see are budget figures with costs cut on various items such as ready-made meals.
same custard as the weekend - the powder must have been on special offer - even my school dinners at primary school in the 70's whcih were cooked at another school and then reheated on site were more appetising than this. Have they given you a release date yet. Hope you get better soon - your leg might heal, but you will probably be in a state of malnourishment by the time they have finished with you
That.... was a fish cake.?? I bet the local ice rink could have used it in the ice hockey game as a puck as it looked solid. As for the spud,the dent in it looks like someone got bored in the kitchen so got the Mr Potato head set out and pissed about with it . The beans look like they have a lot of additives and colour in them, not healthy at all.Ness..xx
Veggie Girl saysJust thinking -- tons of hospital food, including meat, is thrown away due do bad quality- eating meat is more polluting than driving a car- then imagine what big savings for the planet & animals it would be if hospitals used their funds to buy fresh vegetables full of vitamins, instead of meat (more expensive, too) that people don't eat anyway.How about allowing grown up people the right to decide what they want to eat. The NHS is supposed to save lives, it is not designed to save the planet. The problem with NHS food is that people that don't have to eat it have decided what those that do should be allowed. As for eating meat being more polluting than driving cars, hey, let's make the NHS totally vegitarian, it may well offset the carbon footprint of all those hideous planet killing ambulances they insist on driving.Sigh
Not so much "for the love of butter" but "for the love of stodge"
"Kindred Spirits" with an Englishman's Castle? That's just a very short step away from risible right twunts like Guido and Ian Dale...
Ahh Traction Man .. finding this blog has made my day...My partner is frequently hospitalised in Australia and for lengthy periods of time... We now know what we will do the next time she's in for a long stay.It has got to the point where we renamed the soup "soap" due to it resembling something out of a dispenser in a public toilet.Unidentifiable shoe leather appears to be the meat of choice in hospitals.We learnt to live off the vending machines.Good luck to you and wishing a speedy recovery.
a jacket potato, baked beans and a fishcake.Sorry what is wrong with that exactly? Presumerably you chose it.Could you not have asked for butter?
Believe it or not, I would have felt a time-wasting prick for ringing the emergency buzzer for a pack of butter substitute. The nurses have enough to do!