mmmmmmm looks lovely - not! I bet the potato is cold and lumpy and the sausage hasn't got a scrap of pork in it !! Keep going with the blog we love having a laugh (with you not at you - really)! Get well soon
You can just sense the humanity that went into the presentation of this 'food': the empathetic understanding that a meal should be not merely a source of bodily nourishment for an unwell person, but also a cheering dish that would raise his spirits in times of adversity. Not.
The potato was as dry as a Saudi pub!
You do realise that if Ryanair made that sausage, they'd charge you an arm and a (tractioned) leg for it......... but, you lucky man, are getting it for free at the point of service. And what is that brown sludge to the left of the 'sausage'? Is it supposed to be, dare I say it, gravy?Best wishes, get well soon.
Greetings from Down-Under. :-) What a hilarious blog. Nice work mate, you've made the news here in Oz! Is that some sort of an excuse for onion gravy you've got happening there? What? no greens, tsk tsk. ;-)
Hello from Sweden. Did you taste it ? I work in a hospital as a reg nurse, and i must say that our food loks better and i eat it every day at work, and the patients get the same food as well, it`s werry tasty. Get well soon. Intensive care Nurse Pelle in Ostersund Sweden
today's menu:sausages in gravy, served with a side of machine-sliced carrots and a dollop of too-white reconstituted mash.it needs more gravy.
Traction man-what are the evening meals like? In my experience it was usually something squashy between 2 dry bits of bread, along with a yoghurt that resembled calamine lotion. (apologies if you have given this descriptive before, I am still reading/chuckling at previous entries) :-)
I take it that the rock-hard carrot is obviously the main delicacy on the plate, supported by instant-powder (just add water) Mash and two bangers that look like they have some unpublishable sexual disease that leaves them oozing... No wonder you are still in hospital, Traction Man. It's the bloody food, not the flesh-eating bug!
... and you ate this?- Inga
No, Inga. I may be ill but I'm not stupid :-)
I have just started reading your blog, So far I have found no mention of the hospital tea/coffee my memory is still scarred with the strange grey/brown liquid that I was offered.One hospital I was in as a child the nurses had brought in a toaster and used to make us kids toast because we would not eat the hospital food.
Really?? That is a sausage?? I would not have recognized it without hints. Greetings from Finland. Having spent some days in a hospital both in ER and regular long-term units, I share your thoughts on food. Mostly I refused.T
I just wanted to say; keep up the writing, and let everybody knows hospital-food sucks! Gonna play the bingo now!A big kiss from Amsterdam!
Perpetrated by miserable, vinegar-blooded food-hating weasels. By the looks, they hate people too.
Are you sure that isn't something they've recycled from the operating theatre?
I have just let a better looking one out of my arse....
I'll let chef know in case he's short.
Matey ur are absolutely hilarious we have a similar sense of humour....here is some food for thought.. They say there are only two certanties in life, the first is death, the second is NURSES
Now that's a post too far! Remember, I'm in traction and immobile :-)
Is that Cellotape on the bottom of the pseudo-sausage? I suppose it might be a bandage, one of the new-NHS type see-thro ones? Anyway I'm sure that the sausage is much more in need of medical attention than you must be. After all how are you able to type IF you're really in traction? Maybe you have been tranferred to the rack?Gordon
My left leg is in traction, Gordon. This still enables me to type as my arms are unfettered. By the way, is your surname Brown?
Maybe you could add another game for us Gentlemen in the crowd....rate the nurse.....
Get over it. I spent 3 months in hospital, and everyone there knew that the food was The Last Resort for those who didn't have family or friends to bring them something better.What do you want? We don't pay enough in taxes to expect anything better.
Hi traction man, found ur blog all the way from Malaysia. The sausage at first looked like something unmentionable, something that comes out of our body. Ewwwww...
Yes Nurse Bingo :) great idea
Hey Traction Man- quit your whining you spoiled snot. The food is better than what 99.9% of the worlds population eats and is nutrienally balanced. It may be easy for you to take shots at kitchen staff and you may not like the food. it's bland standard fare for a general population to consume and it's made in large quantities. Much more than a standard restaurant would make. Sorry for your hardship....not. Some of those meals looked nice. Many of them in fact. You may have even received overcooked macaroni and cheese. Stuff happens. Grow up and focus on getting better.
For goodness sake, put your copy of The Guardian down for a second and try to find the sense of humour you so obviously mislaid somewhere. Sorry for your bile... not!
Dear friend, this is a fabulous & funny idea, thank you for it.Dear reader colleagues, please don't think this blog is about complaints. The issue of hospital food is a serious health question and voices the feelings of thousands of people, especially the old and helpless.I was once in hospital for a week and was unable to eat any of the hospital food until my family brought me other fresh things to eat. Hospital food is always overcooked, one can only dream of some green salad. A good idea for everyone at hospital is to go vegetarian & ask for fresh vegetables. You always get better food & more vitamins! Also, a good idea to add to other food are protein drinks you can buy from health food stores. They help you get back in shape quicker.I would like to invite all the best restaurant chefs of the world to go work in hospitals and prepare creative, fresh, nutritious veggie food that makes people well and brings some joy. That is really something you can do to make the world a lot better! Any chef ready to take the challenge? We could call it the Get Well Veg Challenge? You could start a new blog about it.Mrs April
Whoa Anonymous - Take a chill pill. If you don't like the blog, then don't read it. Please allow the rest of us to enjoy it. Traction Man is doing a nice job of keeping his sanity and he's in the frickin hospital dealing with this nightmare day after day while you are at home having a nice glass of wine calling others spoiled. PS - your explanation that "stuff happens" is not nearly as entertaining as Traction Man's descriptions of that "stuff". Peace Traction Man!! Keep up the excellent blog!!
Having had my own spell (7 weeks) of medical incarceration in the past I feel your pain. I think my own "favourite" was "cheese and biscuits". Two no-name brand crackers and a no-name cheese spread triangle.Or the local hospital that only served coffee at elevenses. Good luck and get well soon my friend.
Love the blog - great idea!This reminds me of when my dear ex was in the Royal United in Bath expecting our first and there was some strike on, so even the hospital food was off. It was prepacked lunches on a plastic tray, stuff that makes what they're offering you look like ambrosia of the gods. I was under strict instructions to bring in a selection of tasty pastries from a local bakery - 'er indoors was a healthy girl with demanding appetites!As the main event showed no sign of kicking off, they let her out for the weekend and we went for a major curry - that got things moving! That was over 20 years ago and the young 'un that arrived now works in a hospital (but not in the kitchens.)Get well soon!
You do realise that you have managed to identify great savings for the NHS with your postings on food. No longer will it be necessary for the obese to be fitted with gastric bands, a simple diet for a month of the food you have so lovingly described will ensure instant weight loss. No doubt you will soon be invited to join the government as a special adviser.
Hi Traction Man!I truly hope that you are doing better QUICKLY!!! Your blog is so funny, but I am also finding it scary, as we in the US are in the midst of healthcare reform!! The talk of wards and this food gives me the heebie jeebies!!!Best wishes from America!!!
The vegetable parts don't look tooo bad. But the slurry component......
Just finished reading through all your posts with many laugh out loud moments. Your sense of humour in what must be such a tedious and worrying situation is frankly astounding, and obviously shows a person of great wit and intelligence! I will continue to follow your blog with great anticipation :-)Get well soon!
hi Traction Man!you made the news here in Australia! I have now subscribed to your blog :DI must say tho, food here in hospitals and nursing homes is about as sexy to look at as yours... I have tasted some of the nursing home stuff, and its not bad... but hospital food will always be garbage...My grandma is confined to a nursing home, and obviously has higher food standards than I have... somehow, even though she cannot leave the home, and I have not taken in anything, her top drawer has discovered 2 bags of chocolate, half a sandwich, and a box of biscuits! Where there is a will, there is a way, I guess...If I was closer, I would mail you a packet of our famous Tim-Tams, a jar of vegemite (after a jar, it tastes much better!) and a large pizza with the lot... probably not good to have all at once... but perhaps you could barter it with other patients for different foods? Start up an economic sub-culture? :DStay sane, keep writing, and get well soon, matey! :)
well once again i find i am unable to decipher the exact nature of your meal...mainly because i can't look directly at it or the lovely homemade meatloaf with fresh veg from the garden and dauphinoise potatoes(and a glass of 'pin grig') may inadvertently come back up!! p.s..whats the desserts like..are they sooo bad that the camera cannot even focus on them
Will say in the caterer's defence that while the food may be edible, nay perchance even appetising when it leaves the kitchen, it is probably the internal logistics of leaving individually plated food in a lukewarm box for up to thirty minutes that renders it inedible.On the other hand, that sausage looks like an overcooked horses willy in HP sauce. Euw.
Oh dear judging by a certain comment I would venture that you have been discovered by the food contractor for your NHS district. The poor, unappreciated, hard working dear has risen from his bed of glass shards to give you a proper scolding. They even took time to remove the stick from their nether regions to have a proper sit down at the keyboard.Are you not ashamed of yourself? I bet it is because of global warming concerns that such diets have been mandated in hospital. Or is it the realization of the dwindling Orangatang habitats? Perhaps the over use of fossil fuels in farming alarms them overmuch. So shut up and be grateful they don't stick a huge honking tube down your gullet and pump the dang stuff in.You
Here in Australia Woolworths is advertising "feed a family for under $10". Seems like the NHS can do the same for under $1. Please, instead of complaining do some real research and show how cash starved families can do the same.As someone posted earlier, stop whinging, there are lots doing it tougher out there. Seems like its a case of another whinging Pom which we have everywhere here. I find your whole attitude simply that of an ugrateful prick.
Instead of calling me a prick why not listen to what I'm saying. The food here isn't nutritious enough to heal my complex fracture. My family live two hours away so it's difficult for the to provide food since I was moved to this hospital. I can't afford to send out for food as I have been disabled and unwaged since February. You spend 22 weeks in hospital and see if you turn into a whingeing prick.
Traction man. Is there anyway you can convince the powers that be that you are an injured race horse? At least that way you would get fresh grains and carrots and apples and some lovely bran mash. The fresh hay might be hard to get down so cream of alfalfa soup would work best.Paula
Hmmmm, those sausages (if that's what they are) are either horn & hoof flavour or the 'yummy' snout & rectum ones. I had the privilege of eating those a couple of years ago when I was in hospital. I had shriveled up green beans with mine. I can still taste it now...Really hope you get out soon so you can eat some real food!! Get well soon TM and thanks for making me piss myself laughing!!
Jesus mate. That is pitiful Hope you dont get too much flack from the food comments. Oh that mash is soooo familiar. I can send you some recipies from our website that might keep you entertained... http://www.dairyaustralia.com.au/Products-and-Recipes/Recipes.aspx
Looks like the mile high version of rude food! Sympathies Traction Man, I was in hospital in Oz for eight days and could not eat one mouthful of what always sounded so enticing on the menu, only survived on smuggled-in pizza, I can't imagine doing it for months on end. Get well soon!
traction man - i am a australian and am EMBARASSED by that "person" who called you an ungrateful prick. he clearly has never been forced to eat hospital food...keep up the good work on this blog - i would imagine that most australians reading this, like me, find it hilarious. get well soon
Hope u feel better traction man!
Just a strange idea... Add a second PayPal donation for the page, but have this one being for people to donate a 'Home Delivered' meal. I for one would be more willing to donate just for the absurdity of getting meals home delivered to a hospital. You know, Pizza Hut will probably deliver :-)
BAD dog, BAD dog!!
The idiot that called you ungrateful has obviously never had to resort to eating hospital meals long term.I relied on hospital meals whilst studying nursing (here in Australia) - I must say that food looks even worse when it's been sitting in a bain marie for several hours.
I am the person who called you ugrateful prick.The food you get in one meal is often all that many in the world get in 2 weeks, and they survive with all sorts of diseases and problems.I stand by my comments and yes I have been in hospitals for extended periods and the food was great. As well as army bases where people complain. Problem here is that you lot are too well looked after.Grow up, wake up.