Friday 25 September 2009

Only three days left to vote


Our poll to discover who the public would like to see giving NHS management a good kicking over the standard of food served in our hospitals has already seen more than 900 votes cast. There is a worrying surge of support for the Blessed St Delia of Norwich. Our IT boffins are currently trying to trace the traffic to see if any vote rigging is going on. Ms Smith’s publicist, a Mr Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, claims St Delia’s popularity is grounded in the love of the grateful people of England for her. Meanwhile, Jamie Oliver’s popularity is slowing, but coming up on the inside are those loveable hairy bikers Si and Dave.

But we need more people to vote. There are just three days left before the polls close. So vote early and vote often! Er... no. Just vote the once. Are you listening, Delia?

27 comments:

  1. Delia is not 'guilty'.

    The method of filtering and/or allowing votes on the subject is, however, subject to 'misuse'. In multiple ways.

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  2. Hush. Let's not give the contestants any ideas, shall we? Any way, how do you know she's not guilty, Mahmoud?

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  3. Delia rocks!!!!!1 She shoul totally do it!

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  4. Delia is how I learnt to cook

    Her scrambled eggs are delicious You just keep whisking so that everything is smooth and creamy

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  5. I'm keeping a close eye on voting trends. Any sign of cookie manipulation could result in her Saintliness being slung out the contest. Let's keep this fair fight.

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  6. JAMIE! JAMIE! JAMIE!
    Delia cooks very nicely thanks, but we need this chef to be able to remove bollocks, if necessary... don't think she can do that. Actually, she probably can. On a pheasant. Or something. That has bollocks. Obviously.
    JAMIE! JAMIE! How many times can I vote, exactly?

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  7. By the normal rules of democracy it's one vote per person... unless of course you live in Iran or Afghanistan or almost anywhere in that region.

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  8. Am definitely in Iran.
    Sweet little place just off the A24.

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  9. Sorry Henry, scrambled eggs should be unwhisked, merely stirred apart in the pan with a knob of butter and cooked slowly and lovingly over a very gentle heat. This way they marble beautifully, ready for a dash of cream added as the pan is removed from the flame. Seemples!

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  10. Ooh, now I'm all discombobulated - I can't bring myself to quarrel with Saint Smith of Norwich, far less to suggest an untruth would fall from her kindly and informative lips but neither can I deny my method works deliciously... Corks! It's a right quandry....

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  11. I guess there are methods and methods - the results are important ... (various ways lead to delicious dishes, only a few ways lead to food destruction before eating)

    PS: Code wort offered was "ardshish" - just what exactly is that, another kind of bingo food?

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  12. Don't see why living in Afghanistan (or even Germany) should disbar me from having an aesthetic opinion.. (This having been said, Nigella rules; mainly because someone once kindly thought I was her).

    x

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  13. Greetings and salutations TM! As a frequent flyer ( hospital points )myself the more I read the important detail in the blogs particularly re bed ladies and buzzers, let alone the burnt offerings delivered the more I am convinced that our respective nations are in some top secret covert operation, exchanging tortures, I mean ideas to be unleashed on us unsuspecting serfs. Just mind out that if they rumble you they dont start you on your Liverpool Care Pathway!

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  14. I voted alredye for Sirre Gordoun de Raumsaye. Yt is hys weapounnes I wold lyke to see raysed agaynst ye mighty dragounne of ye NHS Catering Subcontracting Departemaunte and I shalle droppe myne hankyye o that he shalle knowe he hath min favourre.

    Saint Julia cannotte scraumble eyn egge to sauve hirr lyffe.

    Let battaille commaunce!

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  15. Something fishy is definitely up - and I don't mean the mushroom quiche!

    Saint Delia may have God and some clever techie cheats on her side, but be warned The Hairy Bikers - my admirable choice - double as CIA/MI6 fixers.

    Seriously they do. That chummy, hail-fellow-well-met and how's about a pint while we're waiting for the curry to cook bonhomie is but a front for two awesome ninja warriors in the fight against: the Taliban, people who shout loudly at other people's parties, anyone who thinks that Gordon Brown is not total pants, the bloke three doors down from me who has very loud and - probably - very naughty parties but who never invites me, train drivers who can't be arsed to turn up for their shift, anyone who causes my daughter any kind of grief....and endless other social reprobates for whom hanging is too good.

    It's a wide brief admittedly, but hey they cope.

    So for all you folk out there tampering with the vote, I have only this to say:

    "Be afraid. Be very afraid."

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  16. We are of one mind, Peter. If I catch anyone cheating to get Delia ahead I will ruthlessly hunt them down, force feed them NHS mashed carrots and swede before shooting them like a rabid dog.

    Night, night.

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  17. Now let us be serious about this. In order to make it work (since no NHS funding can be involved as it is all being spent on management and 59p dinners)it has to be televised.
    Call me selfish, but for all sorts of reasons many people would like to see Nigella at the helm, so come on and vote for her, please.

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  18. It appears that being green offers me the option of registering multiple votes

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  19. its based on IP address

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  20. Anthony Worrall-Thompson gets my vote - he may be better at playing the celebrity than he is a cook or businessman,

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/feb/09/worrall-thompson-restaurants-close

    but he's the only living grub-botherer in TM's list that sticks up for our right to light up after we've had a slap-up nosebag.

    http://www.forestonline.org/output/supporters-council.aspx

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  21. Jamie Oliver is a twat. There is no way he should be allowed to get near hospital food - he does not think, he does not listen and is a patronising little oik!

    Delia all the way or Even Gordon Ramsey.

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  22. How do I vote , I can't see any link on here !

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  23. The poll is in the side bar.

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  24. Wasn't Delia's first book about culinary frugality?

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  25. What's wrong with the Two Fat Ladies? They were unstoppable - OK, I know one of them has done a Keith Floyd and has therefore slowed down a bit, but the other one could teach the NHS a thing or two!

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