The soup course never turned up... thank goodness for the main course. It's amazing what you can dredge up from the bottom of a septic tank. Bon appetit! Anyone know what it is?
That used to be macaroni cheese, it met a plate of disgarded pre-digested cottage pie on its way to the swill bin, but then stopped, thought for a moment, and realised that if it joined forces with the remains of the Eid celebration curry, it could dress up a portion of reconstituted peas and help them live another day. Don't blame the macaroni cheese, it got talked into it. Back tomorrow as Minestrone if you don't eat it all up.
That's ummmm....wait a minute...nnooo..maybe not......hold on I know!.....awwwwmmmmno...thought maybe...couldn't be...peas! definitely peas! Am I right? The other stuff...looks like...nnoooo not really...has the cook got all his fingers i wonder? Meat! WTF I give up!
I ordered soup but I guess it was too embarrassed to be seen next to this. My meal tonight was a banana. Anyone having anything nice to eat this evening?well keep it to yourself!
First of all I thought it was chicken curry then realised that what I thought was chicken appears to be some sort of ... well, I'm not sure what it's some sort of. I did wonder about a stray sheet of lasagne - surely it's not pastry? Is that a bit of beef I can see? No, I would describe this as ragout du trottoir.
Mate thats awful its a real pity that senior management can't see it oh wait whatam i saying its Friday afternoon and they probably go home at 3pm! dont know whats for tea tonight....
YUCK, gross, minging! The stench is actually seeping through my PC screen! I was looking forward to something delicious for dinner tonight but somehow my apetite has deserted me, done a runner and legged it! If that's lasagne then I'm a multi millionaire tall thin blonde bird with boobs the size of melons! Abandon ship all is lost!
Well that explains it. She's got your honeyed mushrooms served on sesame toast, your boeuf en croute with pommes duchesse, carottes julienne and steamed broccoli, and your fragrant dessert of peaches in white wine, all washed down with your bottle of finest vintage, and you got the contents of her commode.
My God, that's a worry. I didn't think animals were allowed in hospitals...and yet it is quite clear that a stray moggie with Delhi belly has made it into the kitchens and opened it's bowels on your dinner plate! I hope it's bagel Saturday for you tomorrow! Mx
That is deffo the worst yet - pavement pizza with a gene pool closely related to septic tank scrapings and incontinent cats. What on earth did it smell like?? That took me back to school dinners in the 1970's, when we miserable pasty-faced urchins were grateful for soggy chips - take my word for it, the greasy, limp, half-cooked chips were the best (and probably healthiest) thing on the menu. Like you, access to the outside world (and edible food) was denied.
Have you got the local piazza place's phone number on speed dial??
You must be really anaemic by now - how do they expect you to get better??? You must name and shame this place when you finally tunnel your way out!
I did think it might be chicken curry but I decided that no curry I have ever seen looked like that! Not even after a student nurses night out!!!! Know what I mean???
Whatever it was supposed to be I hope you went with the Ensure!
Ha Ha I did think of that but if that were true would they really admit they knew that was supposed to be Lasagne ??? "Lasagne - an oven cooked pasta dish made by alternating layers of pasta sheets, cheese and bolognese" even a school boy trying to escape a cooking class could produce a better result than that mess. ( Do school boys or girls for that matter,learn to cook these days ??? )
the only thing i can positively identify is the ever present peas , as for the substance occupying the other side of the dish , well , lets just say it looks like what hit the bottom of my toilet after all you can eat mexican food at my local cantina , but if i had to guess i would venture to guess , beef stroganoff .dont eat it , quarentee it and send it out for analysis.
also , your story is circulating around again , saw the article reported on ananova.com maybe you should write a book about being there and starting this blog . can even include the pics and make it a scratch and sniff . lol
The menu said lasagne. Now, I call myself Traction Man but that's not my real name. Same goes for hospital food. They can call it what they like but the reality can be quite different.
Is this the worst TM, it looks it anyway, I love lasagne, that would be lasagne as I know it, lasagne that stays on your plate in a solid lump, this is revolting.
Food is supposed to have an aesthetic value, I am afraid this lasagne needs plastic surgery
After reading your blog for some time I am now having to comment as this supposed lasagne is the worst thing I have seen them serve you! Honestly TM I nearly gagged just looking at it. I hope your due your bagel soon, and thank the lord you have such a good sense of humour. Wishing you a speedy recovery and then you can get back to real food. Debs
You know what worries me? I called my other half over and said to him 'what do you think THIS is?' he looked visably shocked, grimaced, gulped and went silent. A few seconds later he said 'I think it's lasagne!' Now...how the hell did he work out it was lasagne? I'm stumped. This man can't tell when he's annoyed the hell out of me yet he could spot that mound of cat vomit was lasagne! Astounding....
it looks like a very dodgy lasagne with green bullets
ReplyDeleteHow exactly in any way does that resemble lasagne. Do you get a reduction on your TV licence? Or are you very perceptive? Any advance on dodgy?
ReplyDeleteThat used to be macaroni cheese, it met a plate of disgarded pre-digested cottage pie on its way to the swill bin, but then stopped, thought for a moment, and realised that if it joined forces with the remains of the Eid celebration curry, it could dress up a portion of reconstituted peas and help them live another day.
ReplyDeleteDon't blame the macaroni cheese, it got talked into it.
Back tomorrow as Minestrone if you don't eat it all up.
I flinched.
ReplyDeleteThat is AWFUL.
I've seen yummier cat sick - seriously.
Hope your other food has been more appealing [not hard at this rate]
I think I'd get it tomorrow even if ate it. Chocolate supplement again, I think.
ReplyDeleteI hate to suggest this but could it possibly be what Ewan McGregor swam through in Trainspotting????
ReplyDeleteThat's ummmm....wait a minute...nnooo..maybe not......hold on I know!.....awwwwmmmmno...thought maybe...couldn't be...peas! definitely peas! Am I right? The other stuff...looks like...nnoooo not really...has the cook got all his fingers i wonder? Meat! WTF I give up!
ReplyDeleteI ordered soup but I guess it was too embarrassed to be seen next to this. My meal tonight was a banana. Anyone having anything nice to eat this evening?well keep it to yourself!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I thought it was chicken curry then realised that what I thought was chicken appears to be some sort of ... well, I'm not sure what it's some sort of. I did wonder about a stray sheet of lasagne - surely it's not pastry? Is that a bit of beef I can see? No, I would describe this as ragout du trottoir.
ReplyDeleteA stray sheet of lasagne... heavily soiled if that's the case!
ReplyDeleteThe contents of a commode. Blergh!!! That is the worst yet.
ReplyDeletebinlid
Mate thats awful its a real pity that senior management can't see it oh wait whatam i saying its Friday afternoon and they probably go home at 3pm!
ReplyDeletedont know whats for tea tonight....
YUCK, gross, minging! The stench is actually seeping through my PC screen!
ReplyDeleteI was looking forward to something delicious for dinner tonight but somehow my apetite has deserted me, done a runner and legged it!
If that's lasagne then I'm a multi millionaire tall thin blonde bird with boobs the size of melons!
Abandon ship all is lost!
Well if it's from the bottom of a sceptic tank, obviously no-one is going to believe what it's meant to be anyway... ;-)
ReplyDeletewell i did say the lasagne looked very dodgy lol
ReplyDeleteI would have expected to see a complimentary sheet of toilet paper with that. How far away IS the nearest faecally incontinent patient anyway.
ReplyDeleteNext door!
ReplyDeleteSlop with a side of peas.
ReplyDelete"Next door!"
ReplyDeleteWell that explains it. She's got your honeyed mushrooms served on sesame toast, your boeuf en croute with pommes duchesse, carottes julienne and steamed broccoli, and your fragrant dessert of peaches in white wine, all washed down with your bottle of finest vintage, and you got the contents of her commode.
Looks like she has trouble digesting peas.
I cleaned up after the dog this afternoon, I haven't mistakenly put that bag near a hospital have I? If so, I'm really sorry TM.
ReplyDeleteJust what the hell is it posing as anyway?
Zoe
Lasagne!
ReplyDeleteMy God, that's a worry. I didn't think animals were allowed in hospitals...and yet it is quite clear that a stray moggie with Delhi belly has made it into the kitchens and opened it's bowels on your dinner plate!
ReplyDeleteI hope it's bagel Saturday for you tomorrow!
Mx
Mummy Traction should be here with a bagel tomorrow! And not a moment too soon! x
ReplyDeletehaha TM I don't believe it I was right lol
ReplyDeleteBeginner's luck!
ReplyDeleteI am just wondering how Anonymous recognised it as Lasagne ?? Now that's scary !!
ReplyDeleteIf you go to sleep soon TM your bagel will get to you quicker.
by the heavily soiled lasagne sheet , i was praying i was wrong lol
ReplyDeleteMaybe they work in the hospital kitchen! Did that thought cross your mind? Just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get me.
ReplyDeletehaha ive been rumbled
ReplyDeleteThat is deffo the worst yet - pavement pizza with a gene pool closely related to septic tank scrapings and incontinent cats. What on earth did it smell like?? That took me back to school dinners in the 1970's, when we miserable pasty-faced urchins were grateful for soggy chips - take my word for it, the greasy, limp, half-cooked chips were the best (and probably healthiest) thing on the menu. Like you, access to the outside world (and edible food) was denied.
ReplyDeleteHave you got the local piazza place's phone number on speed dial??
You must be really anaemic by now - how do they expect you to get better??? You must name and shame this place when you finally tunnel your way out!
Tell me that was NOT lasagne!!! Please?!!!
ReplyDeleteI did think it might be chicken curry but I decided that no curry I have ever seen looked like that! Not even after a student nurses night out!!!! Know what I mean???
Whatever it was supposed to be I hope you went with the Ensure!
Happy bagel day for tomorrow!
Ha Ha I did think of that but if that were true would they really admit they knew that was supposed to be Lasagne ???
ReplyDelete"Lasagne - an oven cooked pasta dish made by alternating layers of pasta sheets, cheese and bolognese" even a school boy trying to escape a cooking class could produce a better result than that mess. ( Do school boys or girls for that matter,learn to cook these days ??? )
What qualifications do you need to work in one of these hospital food factories that produced this?
ReplyDeleteyou just need a lack smell, taste and sight
ReplyDeleteI wouldn`t serve that to my worst enemy.
ReplyDeletethe only thing i can positively identify is the ever present peas , as for the substance occupying the other side of the dish , well , lets just say it looks like what hit the bottom of my toilet after all you can eat mexican food at my local cantina , but if i had to guess i would venture to guess , beef stroganoff .dont eat it , quarentee it and send it out for analysis.
ReplyDeletealso , your story is circulating around again , saw the article reported on ananova.com
maybe you should write a book about being there and starting this blog . can even include the pics and make it a scratch and sniff . lol
rhonda , usa
Holy crap! With pea-like things. Prisoners eat better than that (imagine the riots if they served this to them...).
ReplyDeletep.s , i refuse to believe that is lasagna , impossible .
ReplyDeleteThe menu said lasagne. Now, I call myself Traction Man but that's not my real name. Same goes for hospital food. They can call it what they like but the reality can be quite different.
ReplyDeleteIf that shit is lasagna I'm Maggy Thatcher. Wait a minute...I am Maggy Thatcher!
ReplyDeleteNow I must be a vindictive bitch, but I WOULD serve that to my worst enemy ;)
ReplyDeleteHowever, not if the were in hospital and tied to the bed.
Hope it improves today TM .. *hug*
Vindictive bitch! I love it. LOL The nurse asked me if I wanted a straw to eat my lasagne with.
ReplyDeleteIs this the worst TM, it looks it anyway, I love lasagne, that would be lasagne as I know it, lasagne that stays on your plate in a solid lump, this is revolting.
ReplyDeleteFood is supposed to have an aesthetic value, I am afraid this lasagne needs plastic surgery
After reading your blog for some time I am now having to comment as this supposed lasagne is the worst thing I have seen them serve you! Honestly TM I nearly gagged just looking at it. I hope your due your bagel soon, and thank the lord you have such a good sense of humour. Wishing you a speedy recovery and then you can get back to real food.
ReplyDeleteDebs
That is worse than my cat's meal tonight, hope you get panini next...
ReplyDeleteKaren
Lasagne?
ReplyDeleteYou don't think there's a chance that the pretend caterers have sussed out who you are and are having a bit of a laugh at your expense do you?
Thanks for the offer of the kagaroo steak. Unfortunately I'm allergic to kangaroo meat. Everytime I eat it I feel really jumpy!
ReplyDeleteYou think the catered may be having a laugh at my expense? No one's that sick, surely?
ReplyDeleteYou know what worries me? I called my other half over and said to him 'what do you think THIS is?' he looked visably shocked, grimaced, gulped and went silent. A few seconds later he said 'I think it's lasagne!'
ReplyDeleteNow...how the hell did he work out it was lasagne? I'm stumped. This man can't tell when he's annoyed the hell out of me yet he could spot that mound of cat vomit was lasagne!
Astounding....
@gothmaz13
ReplyDeleteDid your husband go to public school by any chance?
The white vegetables may be turnips or albino carrots.
hate to say it but now i know where my used tampons go to ........
ReplyDeleteThe worst yet, looks like dogger and peas. Get well soon TM.
ReplyDelete@Traction Man
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, he barely went to school at all.
He's a musician...drummer. And it shows!
Mx
It looks like some pasta in curry beans. Gross.
ReplyDelete