Start the day with a laugh

While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see such a high official around these parts, you see; so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem! Just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,’ says the MP.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St Peter escorts the MP to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and all the other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and Dom Pérignon.

Also present is the devil who really is a very friendly and nice chap who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realises it, it’s time to go.

Everyone gives the MP a hearty farewell and waves as the elevator doors close...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven,' he tells the MP.

So, the next 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing their harps and singing hymns. They have a good time and, before he realises it, 24 hours have passed and St Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now it’s time to choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute before answering: 'Well, I would never have thought it; I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would really be better off in hell.'

So St Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors of the elevator open and he finds himself in the middle of a barren land covered with toxic waste and rubbish.

He sees all his friends dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as ever more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse; we ate lobster and caviar; we drank Champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look so desperate and miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him and smiles: 'Yesterday we were campaigning…

Today you voted.'