Why me?

Sometimes you eat something and you know... you just know it's been recycled. Today's broccoli and cheese soup was just such a dish. I distinctly remember leaving some of my cheese last night and no one eats their broccoli in this hospital. Normally I have no intention of eating the soup I order as it's uniformly awful, but like some poor sucker who does the lottery each week, I tick the box just in case it might actually be edible for a change. The truth is we have more chance of being hit by a giant asteroid than I do of getting a soup that doesn't taste of sick. So here it is...

Oh well, I thought I was on to a winner with my main course. I mean, who can screw up Macaroni Provençale? A bit of pasta, some tomato sauce, handful of herbs and maybe a bit of cheese. Job done! Sadly I didn't get Macaroni Provençale. I got this instead.

I think even Stevie Wonder and Andrea Boccelli could work out that that was no Macaroni Provençale. I consulted the menu and soon deduced that this was chicken and leek pie. It was available with gravy but as I hadn't ticked the chicken and leek pie box, I obviously hadn't ticked the gravy box on the menu so I didn't get that either. I did however order green beans and croquette potatoes just for a giggle. As you can see, the green beans morphed into cauliflower while the potato croquettes somehow turned into something like turkey twizzlers. As for the pie crust... there's enough material there to repair all of last winter's potholes.

Apple Cake and Custard. It looks like a half a loaf of Mother's Pride sliced bread that's been ripped up in temper, added to stewed apple and lovingly smothered with NHS premium custard. What have I done to deserve this?