Saturday, 22 May 2010

Suppertime and the food is revolting

Starring on tonight's menu is minted pea soup. I'm not sure if I spelled pea correctly but given its viscous nature it could be some other waste product.

It's a pie, Jim... but not as we know it. Turkey and ham, apparently. The regeneration pods certainly heat the food up well. Shame it doesn't taste of anything. That mashed potatoes would make good caulk for sealing boat decks.

And finally, I offer you the 'Baked Lemon Tart with Custard'. I think the lemon must have been a typo as it tasted just like the baked each tart that I was offered back in my days of traction. I understand that Iran has reached an agreement with Turkey to send its custard there for enrichment and hence onwards to Britain for use s a weapon of mass destruction within the NHS.


  1. i could be wrong, but it looks to me as if the top of the turkey and ham pie and the stuff underneath it only met shortly before being deposited on your plate. Now call me picky if you like, but I think they should have spent some time together in the oven.

  2. How disgusting ..!! Back to the old peas and custard then...At least you can save the pie crust to send to N.A.S.A to patch the shuttle.!


  3. seems as though they have been saving up the peas and custard for your return!! At least you won't be in for long, and Mrs XTM is bringing you in some decent offerings, get well very soon, before c diff and MRSA seek you out!!

  4. It's all looking depressingly familiar: are you sure these are new photos not "some I took earlier"?
    All the best for a speedy recovery,

  5. Yuck, definitely todays offerings Meluzyna ;o)
    (right click on the photo, then properties, shows 22nd) nothing has changed has it, another very yellow day!
    Get well soon.

  6. Hey TM, you don't think they prepared them especially for you? That would be a bit paranoid, but...

    That "soup" looks like what I was coughing up a few weeks ago. As for the tart, send it to the Tate, it might win the Turner. The stomach-turner...

  7. It's hard bot to agree with you. Since having the operation my haemoglobin level has gon from 13 to 7 in two days. Now, do I try to make that deficiency up using iron-rich food or simply go for a blood transplant? Looking at the menu with its lack of meat, properly cooked green vegetables or eggs, I'd say the blood was the most tempting and effective option.

  8. Complain complain complain I'll let you into the secret, the cook(?)heard you were going to renovate yer house so he's supplying you the stuff you need. The soup is concrete just let it go cold, the pastry is paving tiles and the custard is either paint or wallpaper (dual purpose) you don't think you were supposed to EAT it do you ? In a couple of weeks you should have enough for that extension, I thought you would have come prepared this time with a freezer and microwave :-)

    Heal fast and resist the temptation (I know it'll be hard) to actually eat the food.

  9. Hope the operation has been a good success. Much as I'm sorry you're back in there, it's fun seeing /reading out the horrors being served up! Glad mrs xtm can bring in supplies for you :)