Now I know why I’m happy being a miserable git

Martin Clunes plays the grumpy Dr Ellingham in TV's Doc Martin

At last, I’ve discovered a good piece of news concerning the state of my mental health. Professor Joseph Forgas, a psychologist based in New South Wales, Australia, reckons that being a miserable old git is actually good for you. On the other hand, an over-optimistic, happy-clappy airhead is more likely to be a danger to themselves and those around them.

The study discovered that crotchety, irascible and testy people are less gullible and better judges of others. Grumpy types tend to have better memories too. Crabby individuals are more critical of their surroundings and pay more attention than happy-go-lucky people who are more easily duped by the likes of loan sharks, time-share salesmen and politicians.

Although people with a positive mood tend to be creative, flexible and cooperative; grumps are careful and thoughtful people who pay greater attention to the outside world. Professor Forgas thinks sad people are better at coping with demanding situations. He also thinks gloomy types are less likely to make snap decisions and even tend to be more reliable witnesses.

The conclusion of this study shows that happy people are a bunch of gullible, trusting losers just waiting to be ripped off by the nearest conman. I always knew there was a good reason why I’m a grumpy old bastard! I may be a pessimist but I think this report is really good news.