Friday, 4 December 2009

A bunch of yankers!

The senior plaster technician made an odd remark yesterday while I was having my Meggitt Brace replaced at the hospital. She told her colleague that I was 'a bit of a yanker' and that was why my brace was all skew-whiff. I thought for a moment that the term 'yanker' was cockney rhyming slang for the incredibly abusive term 'banker', which as we all know is about the worst thing you can call anyone these days. It turns out she merely meant I yanked up my adjustable brace a little too enthusiastically and that's why it needed replacing.

If 'yanker' had really meant 'banker' I would have been terribly upset. These creatures from the square mile of the City of London have done much to earn the opprobrium of just about everyone in the country. Not only have they hovered up around £850 billion of taxpayers' borrowed money to keep their clapped-out and overcharging businesses in the black (remember how much mercy they show most debtors?) they're also now insisting that they be allowed to dish out some tasty bonuses using our money. The cheek of it! I'm not normally someone who adopts the herd mentality and neither am I anti-business, but this really is the limit. These pompous and spoilt cads really haven't learned anything, have they? Bonuses indeed!

I was trying to think if I'd ever received a bonus in my working life. Hang on a minute while I consult my memory. No! Never! Zippo! Zilch! Nada! Never have I received anything other than my salary or payment of an invoice for simply doing what I was asked to do to the best of my ability. I believe the same is true in most jobs. Nurses, for example. Do they get big bonuses for really making an effort to do their job and take care of their patients? No, I didn't think so. If bankers need an incentive to get out of bed in the morning then how about the rest of us? It's preposterous when you think about it.

Actually, I must confess that this Christmas I will receive my first bonus ever. Now that I'm in receipt of a small Disability Living Allowance until I get back on my feet, I'm going to be awarded a £10 Christmas bonus in order to bring some small cheer to the festive season. Believe it or not, I'm actually very grateful for the gesture. It won't make a huge difference but it's nice to be recognised at last.


  1. I once got an M & S voucher for £25 as a sort of bonus. Does that count? Bought some marvellous new knickers and socks. Awfully useful.
    IMAGINE getting silly money like those yankers (my new word, thanks for that)in the city.
    Totally agree with you... mind you, would love to see nurses and teachers get a bonus or two... (being a teacher). But we don't really need them because we LOVE WHAT WE DO.
    Bloomin yankers. xx

  2. I completely agree XTM - a bonus should not be awarded for simply doing your job. I only received a bonus once, which I was very pleased about, but have now been made redundant by the same company, which I am NOT pleased about (although I understand why). I wonder how much of the predicament my employers found themselves in was due to the aforementioned bankers?

  3. Morning ETM

    Sorry but I have now read your article twice and fail to understand this mystery word that does not appear in my life "BONUS" - what is this strange thing of which you speak ... perhaps it is a biscuit with your coffee!?

    Cats' Mother (perhaps with the Friday feeling already) Chelsea Gang wish Whisky a Happy Prawn Day.

    PS top tip yesterday - got out of party - thank you!

  4. I used to get DLA too and that was the only time I ever had a bonus. I totally agree about the banks. Some of them charge people who are overdrawn not just every day but for every transaction. I have a friend who had gone overdrawn by only one or two pounds after the bank had changed the day they took charges off. She doesn't have a lot of money but she hadn't realised she'd gone overdrawn. She knew she had less than £20 in the bank and used her bank card in the supermarket and another shop for two transactions of less than £5 each. She was charged £35 for each of these transactions. I was very disappointed about the recent court decision about bank charges.

    Hope all was well at the hospital.

  5. Greedy yankers, I mean bankers !

    This reminds me when a girl at my old bank in Southampton was really pleased when I wanted a loan for 8000 pounds but ended up with one for 15000 pounds. She was over the moon.

    I asked her why she was visibly happy and she replied that because I took the bigger loan she had now reached her monthly target two weeks early and as a result would get a big bonus.

    When I think about it, it's obvious that she talked me into the bigger loan when I didn't need it - but she did ! It stinks.

    Anyway, chin up XTM you'll be back at work soon !

  6. I don't get any bonuses! No fair! I want one! My mum gets one with her attendance allowance and my son gets one in his DLA but me, who looks after them all, gets NOTHING!

    Bankers are really not my favourite people today at all! They messed up my very elderly parent's account and charged for the priviledge! Then I have to phone a call centre as the branch 'doesn't' have a direct line!!!! Yeah, right! Turns out I am right. THeir mistake! No explanation no apology!


  7. re Bangkok Blogger: I worked in a banking call centre in Aus and during that time it was taken over by a US organisation. That's when the bonus system began in my working life, and I firmly believe it is actually detrimental to both the customer and the staff morale in these workstation corral, uniform decor, cookie cutter companies. Not that the bonuses offered were anything like the ones the top brass got but the principle is the same.

    There is also an Aussie Bank called Bank West. We always transpose the initial letters of the two words and refer to them as such, because they do.... ;) :P

  8. I once found a £10 note in a cash machine outside my local bank. Being an honest person, (and thinking that if someone could only afford to withdraw £10 at a time they really needed it more than I did), I went inside and asked the girl at the counter if they could trace the person who used the machine before me. No, she didn't think so but would ask another member of staff. She took the money and my details.
    The next time I was passing, I popped in to ask if the money had been returned to its rightful owner and was suprised to hear that there was no record of me handing in the cash!!
    So much for honesty!! I won't be so gullible next time.

  9. I'm quite sure that most people making telephone number salaries don't get to where they are by being pleasant.

  10. With one or two exceptions, you are right. Being pleasant doesn't get you very far these days but you can sleep easily at night (metaphorically speaking, I know it's different if you are in pain like you XTM).
    If ever I am in danger of being jealous of someone who seems to have it all, I remind myself that what you see is not always what you get and would I like to be in their shoes? The answer is usually a resounding NO.

  11. I remember many years ago my (now deceased) Dad receiving a letter from the DHSS informing him that his pension was to be increased by 8 pence a week - the letter had a 31 pence stamp on it.

    The world is full of Yankers, Bankers and absolute W......


  12. XTM - you are so right, the laughable thing is that they are threatening to stop working if they are not paid said benefits.....there's the answer! getting a bonus for messing up - no way!

  13. about 10 years ago, the state government here came up with what they thought was a brilliant way to reduce absenteeism...they decided to give all the public servants a bonus if they only used a few of their sick leave days over a 12 month attempt apparently, to stop perfectly well people chucking a sickie and going to the beach (this is Perth, Aus you know...fantastic's almost mandatory to bugger off to the beach when you should be at work at least once during the summer)

    Anyway, I got my sick leave bonus that year, but not wihtout having to endure being surrounded by sick, coughing, sneezing, wheezing people who should have stayed at home and not infected the rest of us, all because they wanted their $500 bonus. First and only bonus I ever got. Strangely enough, never offered again...can't think why.

    Hope the doctor's visit wasn't too painful XTM.


  14. Chris in Melbourne5 December 2009 at 08:07

    Top of the morning to the XTM's Hope you are all well and set for a good day. Melbourne weather has been settled today, blue sky about 23C and just a light breeze, the populace practising going troppo for Xmas already, down to desperate houswives ( real ones )fighting over the last lettuce at the green grocer.
    A friend today swears this is true, the rhyming slang 'Merchant Banker' is a good one for your city types, the poor down trodden souls.

    Chris, Melbourne

  15. Mich: I know what you mean. Some of my in-laws are civil servants and they don't bat an eyelid if they want to throw a sickie. You are 'allowed' so many sick days each year and the general consensus is that you are an idiot if you don't take them.
    I feel bad if I have to take a day off once in a blue moon as I know I am letting my colleagues down, but I would not want to go into the office to spread the virus around.