Tuesday 9 February 2010

Everything must go

Roll Up! Roll Up! Everything must go in our massive clearance sale. Brown’s Emporium is flogging off anything that will raise a few quid to get us out of the monumental financial scrape we’ve managed to get ourselves in.

The UK Government is selling off the highly profitable Port of Dover and first in the queue for this bargain of a lifetime is the Port of Calais. As is usual in the UK, if it’s profitable then we’ll sell it. On the other hand, if its haemorrhaging money then we’ll buy it. That’s the perverse way that life works in this wacky corner of northwest Europe.

This led me to think about a few other things we could flog off to balance the books…

7 comments:

  1. Very funny indeed but you could have said for rent one used monarch, with crown and jewellry, open new buildings, attend functions etc... any reasonable offer considered xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. If it wasn't so sad it would be funny! How much of the UK actually does belong to Britain any more? Seems that more and more is owned by others.

    Such is the joy of progress.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi X-TM! I am very impressed about the vast array of blog-followers visible in your geocounter! I think there are lots of readers of rainbow press worldwide as well, eagerly following the developments of gossip about the UK's and Commonwealth's Royal Family, maybe the government could ask royalty fees for that? Something like the composers' associations get whenever their pieces are aired on the radio? Best wishes from Barbara (Styria)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Laughed like crazy at the above, keep it up as I am sure all of us look forward to what you report. How is the leg these days by the way ... better I hope ?
    Ness..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Leg is being a beast. Doesn't seem to be knitting together so I still can't walk without crutches. Getting pretty hacked off now. Next week will be the first anniversary of when I became ill. May have sone fizz to drown my sorrows.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi X-TM!
    Sorry to hear your leg is still giving you trouble! Greetings from Styria. Barbara

    ReplyDelete
  7. Over here in Australia, during the excesses of the mid eighties, the Japanese corporates took a fancy to Queensland,particularly Brisbane and the Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise and the further North resorts on the coast,buying up large. Office buildings, whole resort areas and Hotels.(great until the slump) Heaps of Japanese tourists, staying at the All Nippon Hotel, flying in and out on Jap airlines.Great for tourism,although a few of the older locals remembered the war!

    Some comedian changed the last line of the Tourist Board ad:

    QUEENSLAND!
    BEAUTIFUL ONE DAY....

    JAPANESE THE NEXT!

    ReplyDelete