Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Totally quackers

A young mum who took her two young sons to feed the ducks in her local park in Hailsham, East Sussex has fallen foul of the local pond warden. Lisa was told off by the functionary who criticised the bread Lisa was feeding to the ducks. It turns out that the bread being thrown for the mallards to munch was white sliced bread. It seems that, these days, white sliced bread is about as hazardous as dining on fresh asbestos, especially if you read The Guardian. The park warden suggested that if Ms Taplin wanted to come back and feed the ducks again then she should be sure to bring granary or wholemeal bread for the birds next time. The warden also added that feeding ducks white bread was as bad as feeding children chips every day. Unfortunately, the jobsworth didn't say whether the granary or wholemeal bread should be organic or Fairtrade.


  1. While the "council" has a job to do
    All the lady seemed to be doing was
    Naturally feeding the ducks.
    Keeping in mind that there are "jobsworths"
    Everywhere you go, perhaps the Chancellor's
    Recommendations may put them back to reality.

    Excellent TM,

  2. F**k a duck! What ever next. Hope this jobsworth duck nanny is made redundant in the public services cuts

  3. I wonder if you had bread and butter pudding while staying in hospital. Was it granary or plastic sliced bread ?

    Also .... is Christmas cancelled this year due to Elf and safety standards ?

    Did Noah keep his bee`s in archives ?

    Life`s unanswered questions..... Lol.

    How is the leg doing TM ?


  4. The leg is progressing well but still not mended. I'm amazed how long it's taking for me to heal. Can't remember having bread and butter pudding in hospital but all the bread I was fed was absolutely disgusting and utterly tasteless. Perhaps I'd better turn myself into a duck!

  5. Have to say I am on the side of the warden here although it depends entirely on how he said it of course. White bread tends to swell and is uncomfortable to humans, can't have exploding ducks now can we ;o)

    Pleased to hear you are making progress even if it is slow.


  6. Apparently he did say it quite nicely not shouty or anything more advice than command. I knew that too about white bread and ducks. I'd actually be grateful for the gentle advice. Knowledge is wisdom instead of getting uppity because some council official, gardener or otherwise spoke to her. Perhaps thats why she was put out ! A non news story really

    You'll get there eventually traction man xx keep going, keep your chin up if that helps ? :)

  7. I just love the idea of ducks being fed organic stoneground wholemeal bread.

  8. Exploding ducks eh? I'd bet that you'd have less hassle from PETA than we do because of our oilsands.

    Didn't know white bread swells is only a rare treat now in my home...mighty nice memories of grilled cheese sandwiches (yes, with processed cheese).

    XTM-glad it is still healing at least...maybe it is slow so that you don't rush through life??

    Libby in sunny Alberta (finally)

  9. Chris the Melburnian22 October 2010 at 07:53

    For the Politically Correct, Sourdough?

    Chris in Melbourne

    PS Love the photos of Portugal.

  10. Pfft. The ducks don't know how good they have it. First their own island, and now catering!

  11. I was given chicken sandwiches made with brown bread to eat after an anaesthetic following emergency surgery last week. It took me an hour to eat it - I would gladly have donated it to our mallard - but he prefers grapes!

  12. It probably wasn't stoneground and so wouldn't be good enough for feeding to a duck... okay for hospital patients, though. By the way, you were lucky to get chicken. It won;t be long before hospitals are vegetarian if a report published today is implemented.

  13. Even if it's true that white bread is bad for ducks, it's very rude to come out and tell people something they don't know like that. Shame on this jobsworth.

    And anyway - they're only ducks - who cares if they are harmed. The point of feeding them is to provide a fun activity for the kiddy winks, not to benefit the bleeding ducks.